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Helga Mohammed

Sabotage is Back! sorta.

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
February 14th 2015, 05:25

UPDATE: Email Sabotage has been fixed. (Some.)

Most email sent from 3rd parties gets junked anyway but, interestingly, if one uses the same provider as the recipient, the chances of delivery increase. Thus, instead of using web server SMTP, LG now has accounts at all the major spam factories. Including AOL. More like LOL. I crack myself up.

Given this new info, send to a friend is coming back too after being taken offline in 2009. At the time, our top 10 sender domain list looked like the below. This accounted for ~60% of domains with the rest being one-offs. Who wants to place bets on how this breakdown looks in 2 months and which domain will be the dominant? Actually, I predict it's not too different because people have collectively wised-up to giving sites their closely-guarded emails. Social sharing is the way to go.

Love,

HMeS

P.S.: as a little bonus, I have attached the query that can extract domains from email addresses at runtime. You should not do this at runtime, however. If I caught this at code-review I'd fire your stupid ass. See anything else that's dying to get fixed? helgasmailroom at gmail semi colon com. Just kidding. Dot. (.) you idiot.


 
Helga Mohammed

Rather Fixed

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
February 7th 2015, 19:50

UPDATE: Who'd You Rather has been fixed.
I hope. 176,765,740 votes have been cast since 11/22/2002 when
Who'd You Rather? Week 1 launched.

Imagine what you could have accomplished if you had all that time back.

Love,

HMeS


 
Helga Mohammed

REZ ERECTION

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
February 6th 2015, 20:05

Over 2 years ago, LG had gone offline. But with the advent of cloud storage and
cheap bandwidth, the annual cost of keeping it alive went down from that of a Rolls
Phantom every year to pretty much a Camry. Just putting it in terms you idiots
can understand.

Now, I hate Microsoft just like all of you. I don't know why but it's cool to say.
Anyway, they really know their shi'ite. Their cloud platform has recently introduced
a freebie version of document database search. So...being a consumer of new things
you and I are testing URL searching via our domain.

Just type a slash "/" after the url and type whatever thing has caught your fancy.
Spaces are OK. Try to break it. I, and 80,000 of my closest friends have. And
succeeded. How? Fuck off. Find it yourself.

I promise you that you will never see a 404. If your search fails all you will ever see is
my beautiful face again (this page). Which is better UX IMHO. Not that I'm that humble.

Anyway: there are a number of things that still don't work. Among them is the
entire series: Rather. Why? Because BLOB storage has difficulty dealing with
QueryStrings which is how data was fed back in the late 90s. Glad you axed huh?
There are other bugs as well. I know some. Obviously not all. Wanna help?
Look me up and send a note. Don't be surprised if I publish it,
especially if you're stupid.

Love,

Helga Mohammed el-Salami


 
 
Helga Mohammed

BEER SLUT!

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
September 6 2002, 12:56 PM

I have been working on a little early Kwanzaa present for all ye who, for years, have harassed me without mercy, written truly loathsome emails and engaged in horrific acts of cyber bullying - all because this stupid game didn't work right.

That's right. I could have gone into a shell, pretended to have a learning disability, anorexia or cerebral palsy or whatever else these posers try to say they have in place of their accountability. But no. Lesson here is that bullying actually works.

Enjoy.

As I enjoy the fact that, if not for this, you all might have actually graduated from college.