Friday, May 18, 2007
Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
CONTACT:
John Mayer
johnmayerblues@gmail.com
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/johnmayer/blogger.html
LEGENDARY MUSICIAN JOHN MAYER ENDS OKAY RELATIONSHIP WITH WELL- ENDOWED POP SINGER JESSICA SIMPSON
Wishes To Remain “Friends,” Open To Future Sexual Encounters.
New York, NY, May 18th, 2007 - Blues singer and global warming activist John Mayer has decided to put an end to his once sexually exciting, but ultimately boring and frustrating relationship with pop tart Jessica Simpson.
The newly single Mayer, a multiple Grammy Award winner with a mind-blowing summer tour beginning on June 1st, decided enough was enough. “We tried to work things out, but ultimately our priorities in life are very different,” says Mayer. “I want to bring truth to the world with music and stop the ice caps from melting, whereas Jess is more interested with the exposure and maintenance of her breasts.”
“However, I would still be open to the possibility of future one night stands and sexual encounters,” adds Mayer. “In a few months from now, that could work out.”
John wishes Jessica well, and hopes she'll stop crying soon. Mayer will be seeing other people: highly desirable, sexually attractive women who are not looking for a relationship right now (and as usual, lucky concert-goers). There will always be a place in John’s heart for Jessica, her family, and Jessica’s paparazzi followers, which gave him free publicity for his upcoming tour.
“Ladies, look out,” says Mayer, seductively. “Cause blues artists / environmental crusaders do it better.”
###
JOHN MAYER is a handsome, talented, highly successful artist, activist, and thinker. Though legendary for his blues music, John is also gifted at stand-up comedy, blogging and birdhouse creation. He is most comfortable dating women ages 19-28.
CONTACT:
John Mayer
johnmayerblues@gmail.com
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/johnmayer/blogger.html
LEGENDARY MUSICIAN JOHN MAYER ENDS OKAY RELATIONSHIP WITH WELL- ENDOWED POP SINGER JESSICA SIMPSON
Wishes To Remain “Friends,” Open To Future Sexual Encounters.
New York, NY, May 18th, 2007 - Blues singer and global warming activist John Mayer has decided to put an end to his once sexually exciting, but ultimately boring and frustrating relationship with pop tart Jessica Simpson.The newly single Mayer, a multiple Grammy Award winner with a mind-blowing summer tour beginning on June 1st, decided enough was enough. “We tried to work things out, but ultimately our priorities in life are very different,” says Mayer. “I want to bring truth to the world with music and stop the ice caps from melting, whereas Jess is more interested with the exposure and maintenance of her breasts.”
“However, I would still be open to the possibility of future one night stands and sexual encounters,” adds Mayer. “In a few months from now, that could work out.”
John wishes Jessica well, and hopes she'll stop crying soon. Mayer will be seeing other people: highly desirable, sexually attractive women who are not looking for a relationship right now (and as usual, lucky concert-goers). There will always be a place in John’s heart for Jessica, her family, and Jessica’s paparazzi followers, which gave him free publicity for his upcoming tour.
“Ladies, look out,” says Mayer, seductively. “Cause blues artists / environmental crusaders do it better.”
###
JOHN MAYER is a handsome, talented, highly successful artist, activist, and thinker. Though legendary for his blues music, John is also gifted at stand-up comedy, blogging and birdhouse creation. He is most comfortable dating women ages 19-28.
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I'm happy for you, if this is true. you're young, smart, talented beyond measure, and now free to move about the cabin. hopefully this relationship will inspire/fuel enough future love songs that you'll be able to stay single as long as you'd like, and if you need more inspiration, well, I might be available. --m
I'm sorry you couldn't work it out. If you actually did love her you have to having some sort of pain about this. If not, you really do come off as a jerk.
You're mental. Seriously.
This bouncing in and out of relationships is ridiculous.
Why are you so scared of committment? Why do you think you'll find greener grass elsewhere?
How can you say you love someone enough to marry her and then rip her to pieces in your blogs? One minute you're hitting on every girl in NY and the next you're with Jess again.
You say you're all about truthfulness. But really, are you? NO. Your truth is just what works best for you. You're really all about contradictions.
You want to be with the most beautiful woman but you don't want anyone else to notice her.
You say horrible things about her, but you want her to slather you with public praise and adoration. You want to be with someone intellectually stimulating but you want to be in total mental control of the relationship. You want her to be committed to just you but you want to have flings with your fans and anyone else interested. You want her body to be perfect for you but you complain about the time and attention it takes to get it there. You say you are deep and meaningful, but your behavior is immature and shallow.
You are the essence of everything we women don't understand. Everything that frustrates and annoys the hell out of us. Thank God not every guy is like you or none of us would ever be happy.
This bouncing in and out of relationships is ridiculous.
Why are you so scared of committment? Why do you think you'll find greener grass elsewhere?
How can you say you love someone enough to marry her and then rip her to pieces in your blogs? One minute you're hitting on every girl in NY and the next you're with Jess again.
You say you're all about truthfulness. But really, are you? NO. Your truth is just what works best for you. You're really all about contradictions.
You want to be with the most beautiful woman but you don't want anyone else to notice her.
You say horrible things about her, but you want her to slather you with public praise and adoration. You want to be with someone intellectually stimulating but you want to be in total mental control of the relationship. You want her to be committed to just you but you want to have flings with your fans and anyone else interested. You want her body to be perfect for you but you complain about the time and attention it takes to get it there. You say you are deep and meaningful, but your behavior is immature and shallow.
You are the essence of everything we women don't understand. Everything that frustrates and annoys the hell out of us. Thank God not every guy is like you or none of us would ever be happy.
did she pee the bed while you were sleeping? & tell you it was raining? hate when that happens!
or just stain the sheets from all the mystic tanning?
I'd leave her skank ass too if I were you john! Don't go back, step away from the ledge.
or just stain the sheets from all the mystic tanning?
I'd leave her skank ass too if I were you john! Don't go back, step away from the ledge.
You dont have to be commited already. Your young and I understand that you dont want to be hooked to that slut for the rest of your life. That would be boring as hell!
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