John Mayer's Soul
Friday, May 18, 2007
  Prepare Yourselves

An announcement is coming. Prepare yourselves. It won't be pretty. It will shock and sadden you. It will tear your insides apart. Very likely, you will feel sick while reading it. I feel sick just thinking about the words I'm preparing myself to say to you. This will be the hardest thing I'll ever have had to write.

Have strength, John. Use the power of music to summon your inner strength. It will take time, but I will say what needs to be said.

The Truth Express is coming, everyone... but this train has derailed, and it's about to collide with Emotions Town. When this happens, I guarantee you won't be ready.

More soon.

[Edit: I couldn't do it, so I had a press agent do it for me. I'm just too fragile right now]
  9:32 AM  
Comments:
Hurry ... i'm antsy!
# posted by Anonymous : May 18, 2007 10:37 AM
 
I don't like the sounds of it already! "Bad news never had good timing..." :^O
# posted by Shelley : May 18, 2007 11:47 AM
 
The band aid had to be ripped off sometime.....just make sure you put lots of Vit E on it to prevent unsightly scarring.

I love the press release! Great stuff :)
What about the age group of 29 and up? Your missing out....
# posted by Anonymous : May 18, 2007 2:43 PM
 
Brilliance! I've said it before, JM is a freakin' genius! Love it! Not to worry John. Good love is on the way! See you at the Gorge! WooHoo!
# posted by Anonymous : May 18, 2007 4:22 PM
 
lol Jessica Simpson has a penis ("well-endowed star..."). I guess that means it's intact (aka uncircumcised/uncut/not circumcised), because Jess has seemed to have turned into a Latina, what w/ all these HORRIBLE tanning bed accidents pictures that I see of her. Ugh. Awful! blackberry_curve@yahoo.com
# posted by Ipsedixit Ipsofacto (blackberry_curve@yahoo.com) : May 18, 2007 6:15 PM
 
28 and under is the problem. You need a woman in her 30s to keep up with you intellectually. I know you're sad so I won't light any fireworks ... yet.
# posted by thefutureotherwoman : May 18, 2007 6:31 PM
 
That press release is BRILLIANT!

Gold star for you!
# posted by Right on! Be Free : May 18, 2007 6:37 PM
 
your a peice of shit john!!! you couldnt wipe the floor where jess walks she's way too good for you!!!
# posted by Anonymous : May 18, 2007 7:17 PM
 
egotistical massagonist.....issues....major issues....there's some angry pathology there.....
# posted by Anonymous : May 18, 2007 8:07 PM
 
Umm...WHO are the fools that keep posting here without getting the joke about this blog?

DAYUM!

Wait! Never mind, keep posting! You just make this site even funnier with your misplaced righteous indignation.

Carryon then!
# posted by Right on! Be Free : May 18, 2007 8:28 PM
 
This is sad...I wanted JM and Jessie together,they are sooo cute together.
# posted by Anonymous : May 19, 2007 5:48 AM
 
whats the joke about this blog I think its sick and so is John Mayer he needs his head examined!!
# posted by Anonymous : May 19, 2007 4:33 PM
 
HOLY FUCK ON A CRACKER, JM!!!! You can't leave Baby Jane now!! She needs you. She's #41, for cripy sakes. Blanche is #16!!!! You are heartless. Your mom would say, "dumb boy, always thinking about yourself". You bastard. Fucker. Dumb boy.
# posted by Anonymous : May 20, 2007 10:50 AM
 
Somehow, by your post, you seem to sound a little sarcastic. Almost like you are actually happy about this announcement. Maybe all of the world telling you that "you know who" is not exactly your soul mate made you realize that you were blinded by the cleavage. Love the post about here boobs by the way! LOL! The only reason I would cry about this news is that even though you are single now...We will never be together. It's like that James Blunt song...you know the one..I saw your face in a crowded place, and I don't know what to do, cause I'll never be with you! Okay here come the tears...or not.

I can tell you that I will be crying tears of joy on June 3rd in Nampa, Idaho!!! Freakin fifth row seats 7&8 baby!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!
# posted by Bluesy Girl : May 20, 2007 8:03 PM
 
Well, well, well, that was a coincidence in New York on the 17-05-07.

I'm just about to start a part-time home-study law degree(hons), with the Open University in the United Kingdom.

I'm a firm believer of "Self-preservation."

I hope the tour goes well for you and your band, and that you remain safe and well - take care.
# posted by Breeze08 : May 20, 2007 8:36 PM
 
Wow - I am heart broken...hehe. Cool sense of humor on the fake relationship. Good luck in the future.
# posted by Tammi : May 21, 2007 4:58 AM
 
people. this is not the real john mayer, this is someone imping him.
# posted by Anonymous : May 22, 2007 8:38 AM
 
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Name: John Mayer
Location: Los Angeles, CA, US

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My label's always trying to censor me, so here's where I'll be free to speak my mind.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." -Janice Joplin (Sing it, girl.)

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