Friday, April 6, 2007
I Hate Australia
Why do Australians like Jessica better than me? I've watched their Crocodile Dundee. I've enjoyed their koalas. I've even eaten their bloomin' onion (at Chili's, not at Outback Steakhouse, but it's exactly the same at both restaurants). What more do I have to do?
I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not a competition, but I feel like I need to win over this entire country to my side. Yes, I don't have big breasts, but my music contains big truths, which bounce proudly in the face of political lies and corporations. Surely the substance of my music should help me eclipse Jessica's well-admired mounds on my own tour. I'm supposed to be spreading the power of the blues, and instead I'm a tag-along to my well-endowed girlfriend.
*Sigh*
I just can't believe I've stumbled into this bizarro world where she's more famous and respected than I am. I can't wait to leave this wallaby-infested cesspool.
I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not a competition, but I feel like I need to win over this entire country to my side. Yes, I don't have big breasts, but my music contains big truths, which bounce proudly in the face of political lies and corporations. Surely the substance of my music should help me eclipse Jessica's well-admired mounds on my own tour. I'm supposed to be spreading the power of the blues, and instead I'm a tag-along to my well-endowed girlfriend.
"The greatest humiliation in life is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it." - Edgar Watson HoweI love Jess. When we kiss on Australia's many beaches, it's like fireworks. When we stop kissing, it's like the fireworks are blasting straight into my eyes, blinding me, because these muscular surfers push me out of the way to get her autograph. It's embarrassing. Australia, you're embarrassing yourself!
*Sigh*
I just can't believe I've stumbled into this bizarro world where she's more famous and respected than I am. I can't wait to leave this wallaby-infested cesspool.
Comments:
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Wasn't that the whole idea behind bringing her with you?
Don't get sand kicked in your face on the beach, Dude!
Don't get sand kicked in your face on the beach, Dude!
Dear Mr who-eveer-the-hell-you-are,
I'm not usally one to make any kind of statement against people like yourself...most of the time I like and admire great even good blues peformers, comedians, world famous people but you're none of the above really...I only heard about you...well read about you on the Liquid Generation site...and dude you are a HUGGGGGGE Douche bag....really truely seriously....so far up you're own anus it's incredible...I'm glad people in Australia think you suck it really amuses me that you're somplaing because you're "political" statements are being overlooked in favor of a bimbo with a huge rack and no talent...I am higly amused...I'm smiling right now as a matter of fact...yay for me...but yes your attitude sucks major reproductive organs and you are a first class penis head.
I hope you and your "great love making skills" *amusused giggle* have a super duper spiffy day
Someone you'll never meet (thankfully for me...maybe the both of us)
In a place like Aussie land but diffrent
(P.S I love fake celebrity blogs...I just hope this is a fake...otherwise...dude...humanity is in turmoil with idiots like you running around with access to the internet)
I'm not usally one to make any kind of statement against people like yourself...most of the time I like and admire great even good blues peformers, comedians, world famous people but you're none of the above really...I only heard about you...well read about you on the Liquid Generation site...and dude you are a HUGGGGGGE Douche bag....really truely seriously....so far up you're own anus it's incredible...I'm glad people in Australia think you suck it really amuses me that you're somplaing because you're "political" statements are being overlooked in favor of a bimbo with a huge rack and no talent...I am higly amused...I'm smiling right now as a matter of fact...yay for me...but yes your attitude sucks major reproductive organs and you are a first class penis head.
I hope you and your "great love making skills" *amusused giggle* have a super duper spiffy day
Someone you'll never meet (thankfully for me...maybe the both of us)
In a place like Aussie land but diffrent
(P.S I love fake celebrity blogs...I just hope this is a fake...otherwise...dude...humanity is in turmoil with idiots like you running around with access to the internet)
Hello,
Well I dont know if this is relly john mayer or not, i am not sure, but if it is i can assure that we are not all idiots!!! I was born in australia, now i live in suisse, but i am a huge fan of your music and i know lots of people who are, so instad of pouting because alots of people know jess more than you, why don you just wake up and not steroetyoing a whole nation!!!!
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Well I dont know if this is relly john mayer or not, i am not sure, but if it is i can assure that we are not all idiots!!! I was born in australia, now i live in suisse, but i am a huge fan of your music and i know lots of people who are, so instad of pouting because alots of people know jess more than you, why don you just wake up and not steroetyoing a whole nation!!!!
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