Tuesday, March 13, 2007
The "Borefriend" Rebuttal
The US policy towards Iran:
"The United States will take no action that extends legitimacy to the ayatollahs in Iran."
My policy towards TMZ:
"John Mayer will take no action that extends legitimacy to the lie-peddlers at TMZ."
However, hypothetically, if someone were to describe me as "[Jessica Simpson's] troublingly-tressed borefriend," I would respond with the following list of things that are interesting about me:
The US policy towards Iran:"The United States will take no action that extends legitimacy to the ayatollahs in Iran."
My policy towards TMZ:
"John Mayer will take no action that extends legitimacy to the lie-peddlers at TMZ."
However, hypothetically, if someone were to describe me as "[Jessica Simpson's] troublingly-tressed borefriend," I would respond with the following list of things that are interesting about me:
- I'm a world famous blues guitarist and songsmith.
- I have a legion of adoring fans.
- I've won important awards, earned gold records, and even asshole music critics can't help but love me.
- I'm a dynamic human being.
- I'm dating one of the prettiest women of all-time.
- I could buy and sell websites like TMZ fifty times over, I can only assume.
- I excel at different types of art, including comedy and birdhouse creation.
- I tell the truth, which is an interesting trait in a world of liars (hint: I'm talking about you, TMZ).
Comments:
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By boring, they mean they can't think of anything gossip-worthy to say that is comparible to others such as pantiless, rehab patients. Boring isn't such a bad thing in this case. When your fans start to find you boring, then that's when you need to act. Getting defensive makes their (rags) jobs easier. I don't have to tell you that.
By the way, you still haven't answered my email questions.
By the way, you still haven't answered my email questions.
I have an unrelated question. Why are you always photographed staring off in space in all the paparazzi photos with Jessica? In L.A., New York, Miami, even Rome you're always looking off somewhere when she's snuggled up next to you, or looking at you. Just curious why you're never looking at her. You look distracted all the time.
F*ck the haters, live your life, your true fans got your back. By the way, I like that promo picture you attached in black and white.... it looks like you were going for a "modern mozart" look, but jesus john, those jeans are tight..i think i see camel toe! (you're still the hot *isht though). -m
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