My Music Will Defeat Global Warming
Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good. I sacrificed the peaceful life of a common man, so I could bring my truth to you, via my insanely popular, money and fame generating music. That was very selfless of me.
I guess "Charity" must be my middle name, cause I'm at it again. This time, I'm gonna be the headlining act on Al Gore's
"Live Earth" concert tour, to raise awareness for global warming. Though pop acts like the Black Eyed Peas and the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be lending their time,
I will be lending my heart, soul, and entire being. You see, global warming is something that affected me in a very powerful way.
Last summer, I was trying to write a simple love song on my private island, but no matter how many $50 Mai Tais or how much sex with Jessica Simpson I had, it was still too hot and yucky outside to write music. The sweat poured down my face, my guitar started sticking to my chisled abs, and at that point I knew I was sunk.

Global warming won that round, but now it's time for round two. And this time, global warming, it's personal. Not as personal as my blues album
Continuum, but still very personal.