WHERE THE F*** DID MY PLACENTA GO?
4:00 PM CENTRAL HERE AT THE HOSPITAL IN SANTA MONICA. THANK GAWD I'M NOT IN HOLLYWEIRD YET BECAUSE THOSE PEOP LE ARE WEIRD....BUT I THINK ME MOMMY AND DADDY NEED TO SWING BY THERE ON THE WAY TO THE HOUSE TO SCORE SOME COCAINE ON THE WAYYY BACK HOME.. .
WOW. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY..
WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT WHAT GUYS CALL 'FRESH AIR' ACTUALLY TASTES AND SMELLS LIKE ASS.
I PREFER MOMMY'S SMELLY UTERUS TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH....ALL YOU CAN EAT IN THE STOMACH..
I'M SITTING HERE IN THE BABY ROOM WITH ALL THESE OTHER CUTSIE MIDGET F***TARDS. I'M WEARING SOME SORT OF BEANIE. I TOLD MOMMY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE A JEW OR KABBALAH OR ANYTHING. I JUST WANT TO BE A FETUS SSSSS!!!!! SPEARSSSSSSSDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
BALASDSAFD...
DAMN I'M HUNGRY . WHAT'S THIS WAITING AROUND TO EAT CRA? IN MOMMY'S TUMMY I BASICALLY ATE WHAT I WANT. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR SOME FATASS NURSE TO COME GIVE ME FOOD...
CAN'T WAIT TILL MOMMY BREASTS FEEDS ME. MANY OF YOU HAVE WRITTEN TO SAY HOW LUCKY I AM, THAT I GET TO SUCKLE O0N THE TEAT OF A POP PRINCESSS. YES, IT'S AWESOME, BUT THIS IS MY MOM WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT THE F UP....
I ACCIDENTLY LEFT MY POWER BOOK IN MOMMY'S UTERUS. SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA POOP IT UP TONIGHT..
DOCTOR GAVE ME ONE OF THOSE COOL BLACKBERRY'S THAT EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE CARRYING AROUND HERE. IT F'ING SUCKS. I WANT A GODDAMN TREO....BUTTONS ARE SMALLER FOR MY SMALL FINGERS....
DADDY'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW NOW...SHOULD HE BE WORKING OR SOMETHING...THAT DUDE NEEDS TO GET A LIFE...
STAY TUNED...THIS LIVING THING IS HILARIOUS....
38 Comments:
WOW fetus... you're born! are the paprazzi's leaving you presents yet? That's ok don't worry your mommy or daddy will shoot them again.
liek OMG fetus spearz, liek
welc0/\/\e 2 teh w0rld |\|0w U g3t 2 liek H@NG w/ ppl liek Us.n0\/\/ liek d0nt U w|5h tH@t liek U w3r3 @b0rt3ds!!!!!!!!
Translatiom
Like Oh My God Fetus Spears
Like Welcome to the world
Now you get to hang out with peeople like us
Now don't you wish you were aborted
Did they slap your ass yet? You aren't officially born until someone slaps your ass. That's why when kevin is slapping you're mommies ass she's always liek "You're my daddy!" because she's being born again.
ABut not like "born again." That's wehn they try to drown you and you're all like "praise Jesus."
Welcome to the world Fetus. Or rather, Preston Micheal Spears Federline..Eww..what a horrible name! Good luck with life!
good luck with your shit ass parents. i love you fetus!
YAY!!! Fetus!!! You are born!!!
Good luck in life!!!!
I love you!!!!!
welcome to the planet earth, fetus spears!
Well ur finally here Happy birthday lil one...love ya Tiffany
hey prestom welcome to the world! ru gonna be a singer like mommy? well just dont end up like micheal jackson. and dont end up with him. in bed. ok well good luck and cograts kev and brit lots of love to u all xxxxxxxxx i love u
PRESTON MICHAEL? Oh Lord, is it like Prince+Michael Jackson?? What's that, boy?
The "Spears" part is okay... but then you got all fucked up with the "Federline".
Don't worry babe, you can always change ur name later... We'll find you a cute nickname by then.
Funny blog, I must add, hehe
Welcome to the world, Fetus or Preston I should say now. Dumb name, by the way. If you were smart, you climb back in your mom's cooch muffin and stay there. It will get bad for you pretty fast.
dude your gay....
assramers are taking over
Goo goo Ga ga!!
Hi Fetus Preston, Iam just here in mommy's womb waiting for her to feed me from her fucking ass, there's enough fat there!
Love Fetus Lopez
Wow. .. . . . . YOu are fucking born. Don't you wish that you were like dead.... Yep....It sucks. hold on buddy.
MOOP. THIS IS MY WORD
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A
So funny!
WELCOME TO THE FUCKING PIG-STY THEY CALL DA WORLD.Except 4 a few exceptions ,this world suks majorly hard.Now let's just hope that u don't have a certain Ms Lohan and Ms Duff fighting for a piece of u're white, midget-shaped cock.Don't go makin'a awesomely bad Home Video with Paris Hilton,coz she has a liking for juvenile wanna-get-laid people.BEST OF LUCK.LOL....... Pali
Yo, Lil' Fete! Its Fetus Jackson, Michaels, and Paris hiltons dude. You out now? Lucky, im still wating to get out of my mums beetle crack!
Hows the real world, budd? My mum tastes like puss, you know the stuff from a zit? Yer well her tummy is covered with em! See you in the real world, Feteus.
P.S. I have a light perky name too!
P.P.S. Wanna know what it is?
P.P.P.S. Its: Lesbeeay powwn Pervit ferk Jackson!
welcome 2 life, I feel s'rry 4 u. I mean of all the people 2 be orn 2, BRITNEY SPEARS!!! she is such a hore!
OMFG!!! i didnt know mommy wass still capable of having babys anymore. i hope i dont have a weird fucked up texas accent like my dad does. and i hope i dont end up president and fuck up my dad does.congratulations for beating me out in to the world.i hope it doesnt suck as much as the first ladys uterus.haha.catch ya later preston
your momms cooch!! hahaha....seriously...i feel sorry.
You are realy cool!!
I AM FROM CroatiA!!!
wat the hell is a placenya?!?brittany STILL sucks
horay fetus!
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