I Can Take Paris's Medecine!

I'm always disgusted when I see a celebrity twice my age acting like she's ten years younger than me. Honestly I usually try to keep my mouth shut about it... I don't like sticking my nose in other peoples business but this whole "in again - out again" thing with Paris and prison is totally really starting to upset me. Celebrates like me are no different from me or you. And we all (we celebrities I mean) need to learn that. We shouldn't get free passes when we get caught doing something stupid or drinking under age. Personally I think the treatment Paris is getting now is even kind of deplorable. She's practically in a 5 star suite compared to what regular person in her situation would get.

That's why to prove to the world that we celebrities really are no different than normal people I would like to make an offer to the L.A. County Department of Justice. Send me to jail. That's right I want to prove that I can take what Paris Hilton couldn't. I want to do a full 45 days in an actual factual prison. I want to sleep with thugs and murderess. I want to eat slop. I want to shower with thirty other women. I don't care; I can handle it because I'm a real person. And I know what you're all saying... she's only a kid she'll get killed in there. Well to that I say I'd like to see someone try. My friend Nicholas Cage set me up with lessons from his very own Shaolin Master and I was a very apt pupil. I can now take out men 8 times my size. Master Qoa Lin says that when I'm fully grown I will actually be able to disable a stampeding elephant with my bare hands in under 6 seconds. So if some burly prison girl comes at me with a whittled down spoon she'll be on the floor before she even knows what happened. Seriously I will be Queen of Whatever Prison you send me too.

If legally I have to do something illegal for you to throw me in Jail just tell me what it is. Something that would get me in there for about 45 days. I'll break a window or something like that. I know it's wrong but in the end it's for a good cause. (I'll even pay for the person to get a much nicer window... and maybe even a new house like in that extreme makeover show. Maybe I'll break a poor person’s window!) But I'll do it to show the world a lesson. Celebrities are not above the law... and I'm way tougher than Paris Hilton.

BTW: You guys should write in with fun ways for me to get myself sent to jail!

DAKOTA WHO?

Check out the trailer for this new movie The Golden Compass



Uh… so does someone want to explain to me who this person is? Dakota Blue Richards, are you serious? I mean it’s not enough that this girl is trying way too hard to look like me (which she totally doesn’t) but she has to go out and steal my name to get a part that should be rightfully mine to begin with? Come on! I mean how man Dakotas have you met in your life that aren’t states. I’ve met one; me. Now there’s two of us and we just both happen to be child actresses? You can’t even argue with me that it’s a coincidence. She’s ripping me off whole sale! Even if that id her actual name. She should have had the good taste to change it. It’s like if your name was Picasso and you were a painter. You know what you’re doing, you know everyone is gonna think your that more famous good painter. That’s exactly what this girl is doing!

I want her to change her name. It shouldn’t even be an option. The screen actors guild should make her do it. Heck can’t she just be “Blue Richards”? Isn’t that name distinctive enough? But I guess distinctive isn’t what this little identity thief is going for anyway. She wants a free ride on my hard work cause lord knows she’s not gonna be starring in any stupid talking polar bear movie based on her own talent.

Happy Birthday Star Wars!

Star Wars turns 30 years old today. Happy birthday Star Wars! I guess I was too little for George Lucas to cast me ina ny of the prequels but theres a rumor going around that a new one will come out soon. If that's the case then I can think of plenty of roles for me! Here are some suggestions:

Da-ko Fa-Fa: The best, and most cutest Pod Racer in the Galaxy!

Darth Fanious: A evil and very cute Dark Sith lord. People wouldn't expect something so cute to be so sinister. That's whow I would slice them with my light saber.

Senator Fam-mala: A senator for the planet of Naboo. My cuteness would prevent nasty trade disputes that cause unrest in the galaxy.

Dakota Skywalker: Dakiota fanning but a Jedi.

Dakota Fanning: Just put me in a Star Wars movie already George Lucas.

WHO IS THIS? THEY ARE GOING TO PAY!

Okay, now this kind of thing really gets me upset! Can someone please tell me who this is PRETENDING TO BE ME?

http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/fanninghdakota/702.html

Honestly! Where do people get off? Posting fake stroies, fake oppinions, fake thoughts as if they were mine! This is blatnat misrepresentaion! God, this thing doesn't even have any personality. It's like they copied this straight from the IMDB! Mark my words Fake Dakota, whoever you are, you are going to pay dealry for this! DEARLY!

Spolier Alert! Spoliers Are Jerks!

Listen! This one's for all you snoopy poopies out there who want to go spoiling other people’s fun! I don't, I repeat DON'T want any secrets about the seventh and final Harry Potter Book revealed to me before the book is published.

J.K. Rowling released this statement today saying there are guys going out on the internet who have uncovered secrets about the book and are trying to reveal them to everyone. What jerks! You know I've been reading the Harry Potter books since before I was famous. I remember being five years old and reading the first book on the set of Ally McBeal (Calista Flockheart is not fun to work with. Reading that book was the only thing that kept me alive.) And I have such fond memories of reading each book as they came out. The last thing I want is to have it spoiled by someone who thinks its fun to ruin the party for someone else.

Now I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Since I am so famous I could get the book way before it's been published. But I don't want that, I want to read the book at the same time as every other normal kid. It's not fun being so famous all the time. This is a time when I want to be just like everybody else. I want to share the experience of everybody. So you see all you spoilers, you're even spoiling it for people like me!

But I do want to ask all my fans... what do you thinks going to happen in the new book!? I hope Snape is good... what about you?

Horray for the Camies!

Hey guys! You are all doing such an amazing job taking on those dorks at Dakota Countdown.com. I seriously couldn’t be any prouder of you. There’s still a lot of work to be done but I ant to take a break from complaining to let you guys in on some awesome news!

I won my second Camie Award in a row last Saturday!

Now for those of you who don’t know the Camie Awards are like the Oscars only a hundred times better. You see instead of judging movies just on how good they are the Camies judge a movie based on how good it is for you. It’s not just about fancy editing or clever story telling. It’s about the message the film sends. That’s why movies that win Oscars never show up at the Camies. Oscar winners are usually devoid of morality because most of the people running Hollywood are vacuous, self serving jerks. When people like that see a movie like Charlotte’s Web they don’t get why it’s so amazing. They don’t see the value in a spider sacrificing its life for a pig. But the Camies do! That’s why they recognized my movie, Charlotte’s Web, as one of the best films of the year!

I mean honestly look at the films that were nominated in the Oscars last year. They were all about horrible things like betrayal (The Departed), war (Letters from Iwo Jima), oppressive monarchies (The Queen) and making fun of unattractive girls at beauty pageants (Little Miss Sunshine). None of these movies were as good as any of the movies that won Camies this year but the people who vote in the Oscars can only relate to the bad things in life.

What do you guys think? What are some of the good movies that are out right now? One’s that send really positive, life affirming messages? Write in and let me know. I’m interested in starting a dialogue.

I will not OFFICIALLY condone any illegal action taken against Dakotacountdown.com

Hey, I got so many nice responses from all you guys about my post on the Dakota Count Down site. It’s really great to know I have so many supportive fans who are willing to do what I ask them. I wish I could thank you all personally but I’m just so busy right now. I hope you all don’t mind one big group thank you.

But I do have to say that all I want you to do is send the site e-mails. A lot of you wrote in saying that you would be happy to hack the site. Well, believe me I would really, really appreciate someone doing that for me. And I do think it is what those dirty creep wads running the site deserve. But unfortunately my Mom says I can’t condone or endorse such action. Obviously if one of you is going to do it you’re going to do it regardless of what I say. And I’m not saying I wouldn’t be eternally happy once it had been done. But my official stance on the position is that it’s illegal and you shouldn’t do it no matter how happy it would make me. but keep sending them those e-mails to let you know how mad their site makes you.

Anyway, gotta get back to work. More Chipmunk re-shoots. I’ll fill you all in soon.