Happy V-Day!

Hey, sorry about no posts yesterday guys. But as you can imagine a girl like me is pretty busy on V-Day. And by the way that V doesn't stand for "Valentines". It stands for "Vagina!" Yay!

I don't know how many of you guys know about Eve Ensler but she is this awesome old lady who likes to put on plays where famous people talk about their vaginas. See, a lot of girls feel embaressed about their vaginas, like the way they smell and stuff, so Eve Ensler had this great idea. She knew that if famous people like the Ghostbusters secretary and Clarissa and even Joy Bayhar could get up on stage and show how cool their vaginas really were then other girls wouldn't be embarrassed. And her idea was so great and got so popular that now there's a whole day surrounding it. February 14th is now officially Vagina Day! This year, Eve Ensler asked me personally to perform a monologue in the official V-Day production of the Vagina Monologues in New York City!

Oh my god guys, it was amazing! I read this great speech about how my Vagina likes to eat chocolate. I thought it was silly at first but Eve explained to me that it's a metaphor for how girls want their vagina to be treated nicely and stuff. And that totally made sense. I feel nice when people give me chocolate so it makes sense that my vagina would feel the exact same way. When I got home that night I tried to feed my vagina some chocolate and mom says that's why I got a yeast infection. But I don't think she knows what she's talking about, chocolate doesn't have any yeast in it.

After the show I hung out with Eve and her life partner Ariel. I told her that her name was just like the Little Mermaid's name and she told me that all Disney movies are just propaganda distributed by the male dominated media intended to program little girls like me into accepting our roles as cultural subordinates. I asked if even Lilo and Stitch was doing that and she said especially Lilo and Stitch. So I'm sorry everybody but if you have a copy of my movie Lilo Stitch 2 you're gonna have to get rid of it. That and any other Disney movie you own. I don't want any of my fans turning into cultural subordinates.

Anyway that's all for me. I hope you all had a great V-Day!

An Open Letter to Abagail Breslin

Hey Abagail,

I just wanted to say congratulations on your big Oscar nomination. I know a lot of people have speculated about my feelings on the matter and to be honest I was a bit jealous at first. Let's face it, I was supposed to be this generations Jodie Foster. But here I am, days away from the big ONE THREE and all I've got to show for my-self are an MTV Movie Award and some nominations from the Screen Actors Guild. And then on top of all that to see you, a ten year old, get the Oscar nom... well it all just drove home the fact that I'm wasting my life. So I decided to get mad at you when I should have been getting mad at my-self. It was immature and I see that now.But I've spent a lot of time with my Meditation Guru this week and he helped me overcome my anger and make a pretty serious realization. I realized, Abagail, that your nomination is actually a good thing, for me and the tween acting community as a whole.

You've un doubtbly heard about my struggles to find a distributor for my new film Hound Dog. I feel that with child abuse being such a prevalent problem into today's society it is the responsibility of artists such as ourselves to open a public dialogue on the issue via our art. But it seems that those in control of the media would rather turn a blind eye to these matters because it would make some people uncomfortable. But Abagail what i realized is that alone I can't fight these people, but together we could. Just think of it, my box office clout mixed with your critical success. We'd be unstopable. We could get any project we wanted green lit. No longer would we be forced into "kiddie" rolls, trying to act against a talking pig or Mike Myers covered in Yaks hair. We could finally make the important works of art we were put on this earth to make.

That's why I want you to take a look at a script I just discovered. It's the perfect vehicle for us to co-star in. It's called Pre-Teen Dyke Out and it's a tasteful yet harrowing look at the tragic lives of pre-teen girls and the societal factors that lead them to dyking out. My agent will forward your agent the script. Please read it and tell me what you think.

Good luck at the Oscars. I'll be rooting for you.

-Dakota Fanning

READER EMAIL #3

hi, (Dakota, ms Fanning, Dakota Fanning, D.F,, Hannah, wateva u want me to call u)

1. I think u're a gr8 actress and I wud like to congratulate u on u're acting career.
2. I'm directing a movie called extinction, and I wud like u 2 play a part in it, email me if u refuse or anything, (********@hotmail.com)

Thats all,

Cya.

Dear Mr. Director,

Thanks for thinking I'm a great actress. I'm still a little peeved that I didn't get an Oscar nom this year (and that little unrefined Miss Sunshine(up my ass) did), but I'm sure I'll have my shot one day. Perhaps for my next movie where I get fake-raped! Exciting stuff!

As far as your movie goes, send me a script. After I, my mother, my agent, and my publicist read it will get back to you. You know what they say, my people will call your people. Why don't you have an agent yet? If you have the means, I suggest that everyone gets an agent. That way you don't have to send your scripts out to random people!!!

But oh yes, I guess I'm not random. I'm Dakota Fanning.

Thanks!

READER EMAIL #2

To: Dakota Fanning
From: Bojo Smith
Subject: couple questions

i have a question for you. i have 2 young daughters ones 8 and ones 12 and they want to get into acting and become movie stars...can you help me out with any ideas on where i would start out at? i would very much appreciate it and so would they. please get back to me if you can help me thank you very much

Thanks for the email, Bojo (that's such a great name! were your parents part of a circus?)

When I'm not making movies, people always stop me in the street and ask, "Dakota, how does my daughter get into acting?"

Well, there is no wrong or right answers! But what I've found is that helps a young actress most is that she have a good mother/manager, publicists that know what they're doing, but most of all you have a good sense of what works and what doesn't when it comes to chosing roles.

You see, many people can act. It's not that hard. But to chose a role that you were made to play...that takes an eye...that takes talent.

Take my new movie Hounddog, the film where I get brutally raped.

I'll admit it, when I first read the script I had no idea what was going on. Some dancer named Elvis played some part of it. It takes place a long time ago. There are no dogs in it, which I found weird consider the title of the movie. But when my mother told me that this was a role that just have to take -- THAT I COULD WIN AN OSCAR IF I TOOK THE ROLE -- well, what do you say to that? You take the role. And when I found out that my character would get brutally raped, I didn't flinch once.

If I have to get fake-raped to win an Oscar, I'm going to do it.

Any 12-year-old worth his or her salt would do the same. And if not, they should get out of this f**king town.

*sigh*

Okay, now where do you start out if you want to act? Well Hollywood of course! This place is fantastic for making movies! I say sell all of your belongings right now and come here fast! Hang out at the Saddle Ranch Bar & Grill on the Sunset Strip and say hello to the first man wearing a pinstripe suit you see. For some reason you might ditch your kids for a few hours like my mom did and go to the neighboring hotel to work out the business deals, but this is just standard practice in LA. People are always staying at hotels when they have homes on minutes away! (they're also going to the bathroom -- alot...Hollywood is so WEIRD!)

Well, I hope this helps. Keep in touch.

READER EMAIL #1

To: Dakota
From: Des
Subject: Dreamer

hi dakota just watched you in dreamer great entertainment, hope somebody buys your new film .whats your new film about? good luck des

Dearest Des,

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. You might say that my life took quite a turn once my publicist started to get my press about my new movie Hounddog, where I get brutally raped (but don't worry! it's fake-rape!).

You loved Dreamer? Thank you so much! It's so exciting when a fan tells me that they love my work! Acting is an art, you see, and unlike many in Hollywood, I do it exceptional well I think. I'm in it for the long haul, like so many great actresses before me.

What's my new film about? It's about a little girl who dances to Elvis music and then gets brutally raped.

Thanks for the email! Please write again!