Jack Nicholson is not one to let the young, hot, vacationing starlets get all the spotlight; he wants the tabs to get a load of his bikini body too!

How to shoot your friend with a ping pong, a paper towel tube, a little hairspray and a lighter.

Here we can see the audition tape for a young boy practicing for American Idol. He isn't very good, so chances are he will win.

A bus driver loses his $#!t and starts beating up a young student. I sure hope that deputy sowed up eventually.

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

When Jordan was younger, her huge knockers were once slightly less vomit-inducing, and her face was slightly less wrecked. Oh how times have changed.

George Clooney is looking extra gaunt these days, and that gross tan isn't helping him look better or younger. Just say no to Nicole Richie!!

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??

Creed front-douche Scott Stapp got arrested (again) when he came home high and threw an Orangina bottle at his wife. He also owns a lot of guns.

At a mere 49 Melanie Griffith is sagging in all the wrong places (because there are *right* places to sag) and her knees aren't making her look any younger.

Calm down, dude. She just wanted an autographed copy of 'Oops! I Did It Again.'

Anand Jon Alexander is currently facing multiple felony counts of rape and sexual assault between October of 2004 and March 5, 2007, involving three alleged victims, the youngest a 15-year-old girl.

Hollywood's Drug Problem. Bad for young jonesing starlets… good for Star Jones!

Britney's youngest, Jayden James Spears, recently made his debut in OK! Magazine

Here's Paris and Nicole, BFFs since they were wee ones. See, Nicole really IS black!

This is an infamous store in Maine. Their slogan is, "If we ain't got it, you don't need it." True dat.

One man believes teachers need to be armed. Most well-brained citizens would disagree.

Ludacris is "Young Douglas""" a hype-man putting out his first album. Rap-tastic!

A fake gun + wussy armed guards = easiest bank robbery ever!

Without his gun, the hunter gets his ass kicked.