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...and in more ways than one, sadly. WTF is going on here? His penis has more armor than the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan COMBINED.

The answer to "What are the troops fighting for?" is clearly, "The Freedom of the Over Privileged Upper Class Dimwit Celebrities".
Thats no POW, that is a POA (piece of ass). Jessica Simpson visited the troops to raise........um, moral?
"Yeah, I could be sending this money to the troops for body armor, but I REALLY need this iPhone."