Liquid Generation's own Doc Manhattan gets a new Transformer toy, and wastes nearly 40 minutes of his life playing with it! Must see to believe! Er... be bored!

Jessica Alba is known for her beautiful beach bum, but did you know her nickname is Sandy Bottoms? True story.

"Stars Are Blind" remade by a sexy fake-Paris into an "autobiographical" story about going to jail. She gets cozy with the sheriff! Oh yeah!

Bob Clark, the director of "Christmas Story," was killed yesterday morning by a drunk driver. Hollywood mourns.

If you're going to fall off a 9-story building, at least land like you're in a cartoon.

The 80’s were so awesome, it makes you wish the 90’s and today never happened. So give those Ghostbusters toys a rest for a moment and take this quiz: it’ll tell you exactly what kind of 80’s person you are (like a Yuppie, a New Waver or a Valley Kid). Also, be sure to see Kickin’ It Old Skool, in theaters April 27!

Seriously, what followed next makes Madonna's "SEX" book look like a children's story. Hot.

More from the Paris Exposed files! She even enjoys corrupting her boy-toy!

This is a great toy for anyone who is just tired of Britney's dignity getting in the way of her fame.

Our mom loves Jonny Lives. And you know what? Our mom knows good music, 'cause this stuff is really good. Thanks Jonny Lives for stopping by our studio and telling stories! We love storytime!

It's the real story, folks, and it doesn't have a happy ending.

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

The Hunter’s no more, Suri is adored, and Paris is a drunken whore. Philip Norris delivers the stories, but not via a C-Section.

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

And his dad was worried when he started playing with Barbie dolls.

Tom Cruise got fired, Israel is fired up, and Survivor is heating up… with racism! Philip Norris has the stories, unless he embarrasses himself trying to rap.

Terrorists go to jail, Robin Williams goes to rehab, and Heather Mills goes fence-hopping. Philip Norris has the stories… and photos of Suri?

Rumor has it that this bat chopped off the head of the woman in yellow. True story.

Instead of reporting live and on location, maybe reporters should just rent a soundstage and create locations that are less unpredictable.