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Tennis Commentator

Tennis Commentator

Apparently God watches a lot of tennis.

 
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Tennis Commentator

By: LG Staff
January 30 2012, 12:32 PM

Apparently God watches a lot of tennis.

 

 

Amazing Tennis Rally

Amazing Tennis Rally

This is a perfect example of why tennis is an exciting spectator sport.

 
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Amazing Tennis Rally

By: LG Staff
July 11 2011, 8:40 AM

This is a perfect example of why tennis is an excellent spectator sport.

 

 

Great Tennis Moment

Great Tennis Moment

Reveals the difference between men and women.

 
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Great Tennis Moment

By: LG Staff
May 20 2011, 10:33 AM

Reveals the difference between men and women.

 

 

Tennis Deadspot

Tennis Deadspot

I don't even know how something like this happens?!??!!?

 
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Tennis Deadspot

By: LG Staff
January 25 2011, 8:30 AM

I don't even know how something like this happens?!??!!?

 

 

Female Tennis Player

Female Tennis Player

Calls out commentator for talking trash about her.

 
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Female Tennis Player

By: LG Staff
January 21 2011, 3:15 PM

Calls out commentator for talking trash about her.

 

 

Tennis Flashback

Tennis Flashback

You gotta love Jimmy Connors victory dance.

 
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Tennis Flashback

By: LG Staff
January 20 2011, 9:51 AM

You gotta love Jimmy Connors victory dance.

 

 
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The Burn, 12/8

By: Satan
December 08 2010, 1:40 PM

Christmas. Yeah, we're going there. I never said this would be a smooth ride. Christmas is of course the celebration of the day Jesus was born and placed in a manger because there was "no room at the inn". Seriously?  Who was running this inn? Messianic prophecy or not, it's a couple who had a baby 5 minutes ago, you can't make some space? Hell wouldn't even pull that shit, and we're talking about a place that dedicates an entire high-rise to gleefully forcing glass shards under the eyelids of false witnesses.

Christmas is also the beginning of Christmastide, the so-called 12 days of Christmas, made famous in the song of the same name. Allow me to take a breath before going into this one. Let's think about this. The first 4 days, the singer's "true love" - and I put that in quotations because I'm not sure I buy that designation for reasons I'll explain - gives her (Yeah, her. I've lived so long I stopped counting my age when we went from Roman to Arabic numerals, and I can tell you this: chicks don't buy guys multiple swans. Sorry boys, ain't gonna happen.) a partridge (with tree), 2 turtle doves, 3 french hens, and 4 colly birds. The song seems to suggest that these things are stacked every day, so on the first day it's a partridge in a pear tree, and on the second day it's 2 turtle doves and a second partridge in a pear tree, and so on. I'm going to assume that's not the case, and that each subsequent mentioning of a gift is a reference to the original, and not a duplicate gift. If I'm wrong, then what I took to be merely absurd is actually whatever is above absurd. Preposterous?

Continue reading...

 


Just kidding! She's not fat at all! In fact, she's probably anorexic! Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and she's married to that tennis player Andy Roddick - that guy who looks like Stifler, who is that guy in American Pie who wants to bang your mom.

Some quick facts about Brooklyn, who we're thinking about stalking (because why not!).

-She's 22-years-old

-She's giving you major bone right now

-She's on Twitter - which means it's easy to find reasons why she might be really annoying. Like this reason:

But then we stop looking at her Twitter feed and stumble upon photos like this and realize that we can put up with annoying people, so long as they look like the hottest freaking girl in the world.

But then we remember we're not Andy Roddick, and we don't have six-pack abs and our name isn't something awesome like The Situation. We slowly realize we're totally never going to bang Brookly Decker. Then we cry. Then we go to Subway and order some fatass sandwich, not the healthy ones that Jared orders. Then we go home, cry some more while looking at ourself in the mirror and then turn on the computer to try and find naked pictures of Brooklyn Decker on the internet.

Eventually we end up like this:

Go ahead. Get your Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue fix right here.

 
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Serena Williams, 3 Million Dollars, and Tampons

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 11 2010, 1:25 PM


When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside... 

So what did I do? 

I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M MagazineGuess what. I was not disappointed.

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin).  Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs. 

I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory. 

Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look. 

All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

 

Kate Hudson Serves Up Some Butt

Kate Hudson Serves Up Some Butt

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

 

Jelena Jankovic Panty Swap

Jelena Jankovic Panty Swap

This could be the moment that women's tennis officially acknowledged its fan base.

 

Wimbledon Daily Hot: July 3rd

Wimbledon Daily Hot: July 3rd

Elena Dementieva was defeated today at Wimbledon in straight sets by one half of the Muscular Sisters. Thus eliminating all of the hot and our interest in tennis.

 

American Gladiator Girl Pass Out

American Gladiator Girl Pass Out

Apparently she wasn't aware this was an audition for a very serious athletic competition that involves cannon-propelled tennis balls.

 

Tennis Tantrum

Tennis Tantrum

Even bleeding from the skull will not make tennis manly.