Don’t worry kids, it's just your father. Pretend that you're scared though, it will really make land sharks day.

In America, we have learned to have children without the need to raise them. This board game will further allow us to watch reality while leaving the kids busy!

This is a bad ass costume. We would even consider this "Super Green"!

This is even better than America's favorite acoustic heavy metal band, Tesla, covering the Mario theme.

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

This poor guy tattooed his wife and kids on his back only to find out she was cheating on him with a younger man. Maybe you can cover with face up with a kick ass rose!

In theaters 2-18-08. Based on the Steven Gould novel, "Jumper" follows a young man from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities.

There is nothing worse than a stinky ass child. Don't let your child's off putting body odor further offend your senses, wrap that little bastard in pine fresh scents.

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"

"I hate our house kids, lets move out of this run down shat shack. No just leave it, go go go!"

In theaters 10-5-07. Watch this hillarious scene with Ben Stiller and his father, Jerry Stiller, as they argue about a pair of panties they found on the street.

Wow, Amy Whinehouse was an UGLY kid, talk about Ugly Betty. Forget rehab, they should have sent you to Planned Parenthood, 8 years earlier.

Nothing is as priceless as filming an child's impending doom. The pan over to the slide proves the cameraman is a heartless bastard.

Test you Pop-Culture knowledge on this super duper Gangsta Edition of the Ultimate Pop-Culture Quiz!

Kid Rock hosts this fight-tacular boob game.

If you have ever wondered what a hideous and washed up super model, full of meth and coke, looked like...

If you thought Kid Nation was bad, well NBC has a surprise for you. “Babies On Cinderblocks” is the latest hit to debut on Conan.

John Madden claims he wanted to make video games more realistic. Watching this clip of Bo Jackson go crazy all over the field reminds us he took the fun out.

Watching that annoying kid get hit with the skateboard in slow motion makes a pretty obvious connection. Fat kids are kind of like big whales.