From above the clouds.

It's kind of gross, but kinda fascinating. Definitely hard to look away.

But too scared to look away.

Gets away with GoPro camera.

Blows away woman.

Should have stayed away from the sweatshirt.

Driving a burning gas tanker away from station.

Makes it fly away.

Now that's entertainment!

With his birthday less than a week away, I thought we'd check in with Jesus at The Holy Land Experience. The HLE is an Orlando theme park that approximizes what Jerusalem would have been like if Jesus had been of northern European descent and Roman soldiers had purchased their armor at a Halloween shop. Check out the full video of his crucifixion. It's sort of like crossing the Passion of the Christ with a Sea World show. In other words, it can't miss. Admission to the park is $35. They also accept donations.

Newly elected West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin taught us all a valuable Christmas lesson on Saturday, when he attended a family Christmas party. No big deal, right? Except that it was during the voting for the DREAM act and the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. The Senator inspired slackers everywhere by not showing up to do his job and instead going to a party, then proceeded to inspire blowhards everywhere by criticizing the DADT decision that he didn't see fit to vote on. The Senate is currently rescheduling important votes to make sure they don't conflict with Manchin's anniversary, birthday, or his niece's piano recital. One thing's for sure, though. Republicans will not be able to accuse the Democratic Manchin of being "at war with Christmas".

As some of you may have guessed, my thoughts on Christmas are a little conflicted. It's not like I have a vendetta against it like some people think. I mean, good for them. They managed to co-opt the solstice celebration. I'm not crazy about it, but it's not like I don't put up a tree and a few wreaths.

The thing that drives me nuts is the Santa Claus thing. Namely the notion that I invented Santa Claus to take the spotlight off Jesus during his birthday. Some say his name is "Santa" because it's just "Satan" with the "N" placed in front of the "T". I feel slightly insulted by the notion that I can turn into a serpent on a whim and tempt Eve out of paradise, but that when concocting a campaign to influence every Christian child in the world for hundreds of years I would just spell my name with a few letters switched around.

Continue reading...

You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here  are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.

Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
Continue reading...