Slippy Jenkins Author Image

Ball Busting Vids Will Make You Impotent

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 09 2009, 3:31 PM

If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.

Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.

 

Reporter takes a dive. Woops.

 

We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.

 

This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.

 

Finally, these guys are true friends.

 

 

Superhero Memory

Superhero Memory

Here’s a game that’s similar to traditional Memory, but it involves Superheroes! Just match the superhero with his or her superhero symbol. If played enough, this game will make you SUPER smart.

 

Cats Are Dumb

Cats Are Dumb

Why do people always insist that cats are smarter than dogs? A dog would never do this.

 

Get Smart Trailer

Get Smart Trailer

In theaters 6-20-08. Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for CONTROL, battles the forces of KAOS with the more-competent Agent 99 at his side.

 

Amy Smart In Gangsta Nipple Tape

Amy Smart In Gangsta Nipple Tape

Crank 2 will do very well in DVD rentals where teenage boys can enjoy the "film" in the proper setting.

 

Tyra Banks is Homeless

Tyra Banks is Homeless

After spending one day pretending to be homeless Tyra Banks claims she understands their plight. She also only spent one day in high school and proclaimed "I'm smart".

 

Ipodz R 4 Smart People

Ipodz R 4 Smart People

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the ipod was introduced to a high school auditorium of nerds. It was a simpler time when iphone=poser meant nothing.

 

Juno Trailer

Juno Trailer

In theaters 12-14-07. Juno is a whip-smart teen confronting an unplanned pregnancy by her classmate Bleeker. With the help of her hot best friend Leah, Juno finds her unborn child a 'perfect' set of parents: an affluent suburban couple, Mark and Vanessa, longing to adopt.

 
 

Public Bar Notice

Public Bar Notice

This bar is obviously managed by a smart fellow.

 

The Normal Anna Nicole

The Normal Anna Nicole

Anna Nicole Smith proves she's the smartest spokesperson alive.

 

Adorable Cat

Adorable Cat

What an adorably smart cat! He knows where to go when he needs to get a little warm!

 

Smart Kid

Smart Kid

Why do fat kids always have to be the stupid ones?

 

Brain Dog

Brain Dog

Cute Alert! This doggy is made out of 100% brain! That makes him adorable AND smart!

 

Sucktastic Music Trivia #2

Sucktastic Music Trivia #2

If this Music Trivia game will teach you anything, it's that you know nothing about music -- unless you're as smart as us. (Hint: You’re not!)

 

Sucktastic Trivia

Sucktastic Trivia

If this Music Trivia game will teach you anything, it's that you know nothing about music -- unless you're as smart as us, which we know you're not because we did it with your music teacher and she told us so. Snap!

 

Dumbest Kid Alive

Dumbest Kid Alive

When this kid grows up he wants to be smart.

 

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game 2

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game 2

Big Johnny knows movies and he knows how to kick your ass. Don't say we didn't warn you.

 

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game

Big Johnny knows movies and he knows how to kick your ass. Don't say we didn't warn you.

 

OTHER COOL STUFF