Old people turn off the lights and act like they are having sex. Watch how the marks react!

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

Seriously, they have everthing in Japan. Tell me, what can't you but in a vending machine?

This is the kinda technology that the paparazzi need. Turn into a camera, take some photos of Britney's crotch, then transform into a car and drive away when Linsday Lohan tries to hit you with her car.

This Evel Knievel-wannabe drives a 70s rocket car off a crazy ramp! Loco!

Rip Torn was arrested for drunken driving today in upstate New York. Take that, Nick Nolte's mugshot!!

Save your files with the nerdiest thumb drives evar!

It's like Brokeback Mountain, but with cats. Oh, and no gay sex.

What's your name? "Boob, James Boob." What do you drink? A Boobtini. What kind of automobiles do you drive? Boobs.

Even in Japan, it's cool to practice safe sex, kids!!

Later this night, Paris Hilton arrested herself for drunk driving.

This pig don't drive too good! Hyuk yuk!

It’s the witching hour! As in “witch of these people would you rather have sex with?”

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun! But better!

When your drive-thru order-takers fail you, you take your order to… India?

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

The video you’ve been searching for all over the internet is finally here! See Dustin “Screech” Diamond do the “dirty sanchez” with a very, very sexy lady! This is the celebrity sex tape you don’t want to miss! Uncut. Uncensored. Unreal.

In Race Race Revolution it doesn’t matter whether you’re driving a Ferrari or a junky jalopy. What matters is the fast action – fast finger tapping action! Remember to get "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" on DVD and HD DVD, September 26!

We'd call and laugh at him.

Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!