Listen up sleuths, Carmen San Diego was spotted at the Lahore National Airport, you have 15 minutes to trap her by naming off African countries. Rockapella, take it away!

Adrian was not only the coolest red head on the block, but he was a bona fide sith lord. With his trusty lightsaber in hand, he was guaranteed to fend off any unwanted vaginal advances.

An entire lighting rig almost falls on Hillary Clinton and the most she can say is "Jesus, Mary and Joseph"?? Even Bush knows how to curse!

Compton High's remake of West Side Story, complete with an inter-district theater student exchange. Can you guess who is visiting from Beverly Hills High?

Dippy car blatantly runs a red light, then can't even successfully swerve out of the way of an oncoming scooter. WARNING: this video is SHOCKING, GRUESOME, and you won't be able to look away.

This is not a lazer light show, its witchcraft, I say! Keep your glowning coat hangers from him, before he eats your babies!

How to shoot your friend with a ping pong, a paper towel tube, a little hairspray and a lighter.

Actress Kate Beckinsale has some dirty, nasty teeth that she didn't even brush before a red carpet appearance! Get thee to a dentist, woman!

Sarah Michelle Gellar (or SMG as I call her) was caught on camera with the reddest eyes this side of Jamaica. She was hanging out with Mischa Barton, mayhaps?

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

Jessica Simpson recently crossed the red carpet in Vegas, where she had to wear weighted shoes to prevent her boobs from lifting the rest of her to the ceiling.

More Carmen! More burlesque!

When you need to air out your crotch, clean off the top of your Red Bull can.

Lindsay dyed her hair lighter to a strawberry blond. The firecrotch is back!

Reese Witherspoon looks fabulous on the Oscars red carpet.

Who'd You Rather is ready to impress you with its award winning Idi Amin impersonation.

Brit-Brit was seen out partying again in New York, this time squeezing into a "sexy" red dress.

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

Puff Daddy was seen checking out Jessica Biel's Golden Globes on the red carpet.