Filipino prisoners have choreographed what just might be the largest performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller. But the real scary part is the male inmate playing the "female" lead. Creepy hair!

Don't like George W. Bush? Well now you can torture him without going to prison!

Victoria let some of her pit boob escape it's cold and frigid prison. It looks like a sack of fat… Oh wait…

Prison is a lot like school; you hang with your buddies, have recess, and eat crappy food. The upside is the food is better; the downside is the corndogs have no sticks.

Paris wore a diaper over her prison pancake butt in Hawaii. Gross!!

Now that she's been released from prison, Paris is on her way to annoy the hell out of he neighbors in the Hollywood Hills.

Paris is a prison pen pal! How nice!

To celebrate her stay in prison, here is Paris Hilton singing a song to the tune of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

"Stars Are Blind" remade by a sexy fake-Paris into an "autobiographical" story about going to jail. She gets cozy with the sheriff! Oh yeah!

When the judge's decision to send Paris back to prison is read, an unseen man cries out in obvious agony. Will celebrity justice never be served??

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

Watch a simulation of Paris Hilton's soon-to-come behind-bars sexcapades!

Paris Hilton constantly inspires art. That's why someone made a wax rendition of her in the middle of a suicide attempt. That won't get you out of prison, Paris!!

Even the wind is against Ms. Hilton as she leaves a courthouse appearance. Remember, Paris, behind bars you only get two pairs of undies per week!

Paris Hilton got sentenced to 45 days in jail! YAY!!!!

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

Raise your Hell's Lil' Angel the right way! Get him this DIY tattoo maker set. Safer than prison ink!

Welcome to the Slammer!

At least you'd never drop it in prison!