Celebrity Ho-Bags are everywhere, and whether you’re a skanky ho-bag like Lindsay Lohan or a pregnant ho-bag like Britney Spears, everyone wants to be a celebrity ho-bag. Which one are you?

How romantic. We can really see this couple going places.

Will K-Fed’s alleged cheating be the straw that breaks the crying, pregnant camel’s back?

Food rules this week as Reese is fat, Bush is “Hungary” and Katharine McPhee can’t keep her lunch down.

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.

This week Angelina Jolie is pregnant, New Jersey has a new slogan, Pam Anderson hates KFC, and David Hassellhoff is getting a divorce!

Spin the reel, pick a letter and try to solve the puzzle. This edition features story lines where a character is pregnant, or is just so fat they look like they’re pregnant.

Take our online pregnancy test and you'll know whether or not you're pregnant in less than five minutes.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

We show you two celebs and you tell us who you'd rather…you know! Compare your results with the rest of our visitors to see how your tastes match up.

After you figure out what's wrong with these pictures, find out what's wrong with your fatass.