She's not "having it her way"! LOL!

Every celebutard heiress knows that a good pair of panties doubles as a cell phone holder!

More of Paris' old photos and documents are surfacing... why would she have a photo of her tampon string? Why not?

"Stars Are Blind" remade by a sexy fake-Paris into an "autobiographical" story about going to jail. She gets cozy with the sheriff! Oh yeah!

Paris gets owned in a really Disco way! Warning: may cause seizures!

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

Stare at this image of Paris Hilton weeping in the back seat of a squad car, and feel the tranquility sweep over your body, cleansing it with its calming coolness. Om......

Even a carton bully laughs at you, Paris.

When the judge's decision to send Paris back to prison is read, an unseen man cries out in obvious agony. Will celebrity justice never be served??

Paris is getting hauled off *BACK* to Lynwood today! Are you ecstatic or sad?

This morning (June 8, 2007) Paris Hilton was cuffed and taken by squad car after a judge has ordered her back in court.... and back to JAIL!!

Perhaps representing the height of celebrity mugshots, Paris proves she's always herself by posing her ass off for the cops. Nice.

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!

Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.

Watch Paris Hilton in jail right now! It's live! It's boring! It's a great way to spend the afternoon!

Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

Britney, Paris, Lindsay and Tara Reid are back and this time they're defending NYC with their Spidey-senses!