Also with sandals on his hands, for extra protection of course.

Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has created what will be an epic "Boob-off" between Ashlee and Jessica, Master of Incest, Joe Simpson, of course will be the referee.

Of course she loves the cereal that is "fun to munch because it keeps its crunch".

Weird but par for the course with this guy.

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

Lindsay's education at rehab didn't end with Drugs=Bad, she also went to the second level course Panties=Respectable(kind of).

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

Wow, it looks like a huge swollen pair of lips with lipstick only on the upper lip. Of course you have to blur your vision to see it, but how else are you expected to look at a fat person?

Proof that the squirrel the in your backyard will do pretty much anything to steal food from your bird feeder.

Pop-schlock fake-punk Canadian Avril Lavigne is a hack, of course. Here's the proof! She totally ripped off Peaches.

Clever kids build a loop-de-loop on a train track... and it works! Of course they aren't American :(

It's actually a prairie dog. And he comes from Japan – of course!

What happens when you leave for the weekend and your friends happen to have 60 phone books laying around? Why THIS VIDEO, of course!

What happens when you replace a hallway with a bathroom? Why, hilarity, of course!

This ad got pulled because people thought it too closely represent high-fashion gang-rape. Which, of course, is the best kind.

You remember this song, but do you remember the video? Of course not. Watch it and then try to get the song out of your head while pounding edd nog shooters with your grampa.

Celebrities are the sluttiest people in the world (see: Britney’s crotch). Of course, not all celebrities are slutty, which is why you’ll have to guess which of these whoretastic celebrity pics are real and which are photoshopped fakes.

The Angry Leprechaun regales us with a traditional (?!) Irish limerick. Of course, it’s not tradition, just really dirty.