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The week ahead holds plenty of possibilities for any T.V. junkie. Here are a few picks you should definitely consider not checking out.

Monday: The Event. It has a backwards "E" in the logo! Don't you understand?! That is AWESOME! It has aliens! And intrigue! Assuming you were as enraged as anyone at the lack of accountability demonstrated in the storytelling of Lost, wouldn't watching this show put you neck-and-neck with a battered woman who meets her next boyfriend in a police drunk tank? The Event airs Monday nights at 9PM on NBC.
Tuesday: NCIS: Los Angeles. Person A: "Who's the special agent in charge here?!" Person B: "Chris O'Donnell." Person A: "I'm serious!" Person B: "So am I." Person A: "Wait, really?" NCIS: Los Angeles airs Tuesday nights at 9PM on CBS.
Wednesday: The Middle. Husband and wife. 3 kids. Oldest, jock. Middle, awkward. Youngest, precociously smart. Were you in a coma for the sitcom era of television? No? Oh, then never mind. The Middle airs Wednesday nights at 8PM on ABC.
Thursday: The Big Bang Theory. Want to see what T.V. writers imagine the extremely educated to act like? You don't have to. It turns out they act like every stereotypical nerd you've ever seen on television and in the movies. The Big Bang Theory airs Thursday nights at 8PM on CBS.
Friday: CSI: NY. Hey, know what would be interesting? A police procedural about crime scene investigators! Sweet! Hey, know what would also be cool? If there was a version that took place in New York City. Can you imagine? A cop show in New York?! Where's our Emmy?! CSI: NY airs Friday nights at 10PM on CBS.
Saturday: Click. In case you never saw one of the million and a half student films that tackle the concept of a television remote that influences reality, Fox is running Click, the story of a man with a television remote that influences reality. I wonder if he'll learn a valuable lesson in the end. Click airs this coming Saturday at 8PM on Fox.
Sunday: The Amazing Race. They've had 17 seasons. How can it be amazing if it's been done 17 times? I don't know, but I plan to not find out. The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8PM on CBS.
There are a couple interesting things about this interview with Mel Gibson by Chicago television reporter Dean Richards:
1) Mel Gibson really looks crazy.
2) He looks like he needs Ritalin.
3) Can't believe he says "Dude."
4) I bet he can snap his own neck off if he really wanted to.
5) He really looks crazy.
Check it out for yourself.

Ah. It happens to the best of us, Jared. Diet Pro Tip: Don't put Twinkies in your 6-inch turkey sub.
See more pics of this former skinny fat dude here.
These amateur doctors remove a cyst from a guy's neck! WARNING: Really gross!!!
Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.
Curtis Allgier's face and neck tattoos include various decorative swasticas, "skin head" or his brow, F.U.N. on his chin, SS bolts on his cheeks, a crucifix, "Property of Jolene" on his forehead, a Doc Martin boot on his nose, and the "Hatebreed" logo above his mouth.
Liver spots? Check. Bags under the eyes? Check. Sagging mouth? Check. Creepy old lady neck? Check. Looks like Goldie Hawn should be CHECKing in at her plastic surgeon!
Pretending to have your neck slit on Fox News is hilarious, dude! No matter what a Fox News Reporter says!