War times calls for national unity. The army is now recruiting butch lesbians to rebuilt war town areas of Baghdad.

In theaters 12-25-07. A drama based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas. In 1935, he inspired students to form the school's first debate team, which went on to challenge Harvard in the national championship.

This would truly be the act of a national hero. Oh, if only someone had the balls.

Ricky Martin… National Coming out day was just recently upon us… hint, hint.

Listen up sleuths, Carmen San Diego was spotted at the Lahore National Airport, you have 15 minutes to trap her by naming off African countries. Rockapella, take it away!

In theaters 2-18-08. Based on the Steven Gould novel, "Jumper" follows a young man from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities.

In theaters 2-15-08. A family settles into its vacation home, which happens to be the next stop for a pair of young, articulate, white-gloved serial killers on an excursion through the neighborhood.

National Geographic's upcoming special is the most awesome news from them since we saw naked African women in their magazines back in the fourth grade.

In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

What time is it? It’s Who’d you rather time! It’s our vacation!

Jack Nicholson is not one to let the young, hot, vacationing starlets get all the spotlight; he wants the tabs to get a load of his bikini body too!

Paris donned a black wig to make an "incognito" escape to Maui after her Larry King interview. I guess saving the world can wait for vacation!

Recently the bloated princess of pop vacationed from her busy 15-minute lip-sync concert tour and headed off to Mexico. Apparently she thought "South of the Border" meant it was okay to show off her cheesy gordita ass in a thong.

There's a sinkhole in Mexico, and it's in Britney's ass. Too bad it couldn't suck up any of her cellulite (or crappy weave, for that matter).

Beyonce is on vacation in Monaco... in a bikini. Why else are you looking at this?

Silversun Pickups have really blown up over last year, what with their single getting heavy national radio play and even making an appearance on Late Night with David Letterman. So we were blown away when frontman Brian Aubert said he’d come by the LG Studios to play us some songs. We saw first hand why everyone is talking about this band…one of the best Studio Sessions we have ever had!

This was my favorite place to vacation as a child.

There are dozens of national and world disasters going on… but there's only one we're concerned with RIGHT NOW.

Watch a Fox Reporter get shot at by Israilis soldiers! Goodtimes in the Middle East! When is your next family vacation there?

Summer vacation is here! You finally have a lot of free time to waste.