"America's Got Talent" but Germany's got the Hoff. We're obviously jealous as he had a starring role in the finale of the show.

Sienna Miller doesn't like America, and her itty bitty titties share those thoughts. Looking back, we couldn't find any pictures of her, in which she wasn't topless.

This week America’s sexiest swine offers up a batch of her favorite celebrity boobs.

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Another amazing speed painting of Optimus Prime. Only thing missing is Michael Bay, showing up to ruin everything.

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

Luckily, this huge truck missed hitting any pedestrians!

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

What happens on the Fourth of July when you pass out from too much America-toasting? Your jackass friends try to kill you with fireworks. Hooray for freedom!

The MTV Movie Awards always prompts some sort of gimmicky hi-jinx. Here's Jessica and Sarah pretending to go all "college-experimental" in front of America.

America's Next Top Stripper is more like it!

What would happen if America's Next Top Model did an American Apparel photoshoot with AA's creepy mustachioed founder, Dov Charney? Well someone might DIE.

Miss USA showed poise in times of hardship when, during the Miss Universe Pageant, she fell on her tush and bounced right back up, as though nothing happened!

The ‘06-’07 TV season is ending, and here are the hotties we’ll miss the most.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

This little cutie-pie is all alone now that his internet stalker isn't around any more. Won't someone please fill the hole in his adorable heart??

America’s bald pop princess sings her heart out in our parody of Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares To You.”

This slut is just hanging out all over the place.

Don't miss the awkward tension between these two… Simon tells Ryan to come out, and Ryan laughs it off!