Unlock the Mystery of Mary Shaw!

Unlock the Mystery of Mary Shaw!

Do you have what it takes to unlock the mystery of Mary Shaw? But be warned, this may make you crap your pants.

 

Mary-Kate is a Grunge Icon

Mary-Kate is a Grunge Icon

They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.

 

Mary-Kate Is Possessed

Mary-Kate Is Possessed

Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.

 

Mary-Kate Olsen is a Stud

Mary-Kate Olsen is a Stud

It's called trying too hard, and it's what you're doing.

 

The Other Boleyn Girl Trailer

The Other Boleyn Girl Trailer

In theaters 2-29-08. Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson portray Anne and Mary Boleyn, sisters who compete for the affections of King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). What more could you ask for than a royal cat-fight, a beheading and 16th century costuming? Romance

 

Tree beard Agrees to Hobbit War

Tree beard Agrees to Hobbit War

This man has some sort of genetic trait that mutates HPV, causing huge tree like growths to erupt from his body. Where are Mary and Pippin?

 

The Illusion Of Bloody Mary

The Illusion Of Bloody Mary

You’ve played Bloody Mary when you were younger, now see the illusion. Can you see Bloody Mary?

 

Mary-Kate Olsen Likes Gays

Mary-Kate Olsen Likes Gays

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

 

Mary-Kate Oldson

Mary-Kate Oldson

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

 

Mary-Kate Olsen: Then & Now

Mary-Kate Olsen: Then & Now

Mary-Kate Olsen is now starring in Weeds. She once starred in Full House. Here the two characters meet for the first time.

 

Hillary Clinton Can't Swear

Hillary Clinton Can't Swear

An entire lighting rig almost falls on Hillary Clinton and the most she can say is "Jesus, Mary and Joseph"?? Even Bush knows how to curse!

 

Mary-Kate Olsen's Crack Man

Mary-Kate Olsen's Crack Man

In this Pac-Man parody, help Mary-Kate Olsen snort boatloads of primo cocaine. Be sure to play this with your kids.

 

Mary Louise Parker is Naked

Mary Louise Parker is Naked

Mary Louise Parker helped promote her show Weeds by posing naked. Hey, whatever it takes, right?

 

Mary-Kate Looks Like Death

Mary-Kate Looks Like Death

The Olsen Twins are now one chick, since both of them are basically half a person.

 

Mary-Kate is Scary

Mary-Kate is Scary

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

 

Mary-Kate Hungry

Mary-Kate Hungry

Finally! Someone got an Olsen twin to eat!

 

Scary Mary Poppins

Scary Mary Poppins

Seriously, I was freaked out by Mary Poppins as a kid, but never this bad!

 
 

Suck My News Weekly: Chewbacca Is One of Us

Suck My News Weekly: Chewbacca Is One of Us

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

 

Suck My News Weekly: NEW POPE, VIRGIN MARY, & AN IDOL!

Suck My News Weekly: NEW POPE, VIRGIN MARY, & AN IDOL!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

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