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Genius Director Michael Bay Directs Victoria's Secret Commercial

By: Slippy Jenkins
December 08 2009, 11:18 AM

 

I'm confused. What I really want to know is why nobody is bombed do death in this thing. I mean, I see lots of fire, a motorcycle, helicopter, some weird clown-looking dude who looks like he belongs in a Marilyn Manson video, but where are all the body parts flying everywhere. Everything about this video suggests that it should be absolute crap. I was really expecting Marissa Miller to be blown to pieces in this thing, but it just never happens. I always also expecting some sort of lame sidekick to pop up, or perhaps a talking robot. But none of that happened. Maybe this is a good thing? Could this be the first time that I've actually watched a Michael Bay directed film all the way through? I think it is. It's a freaking miracle.

Michael Bay, you are a genius.

 

Marisa Miller's Boobs Are Totally Rich

Marisa Miller's Boobs  Are Totally Rich

Here's Marisa wearing a 3 million dollar bra from Harlequin Fantasy Bra. Tell us: how did her boobs get so rich that they're able to afford such a luxury? I mean, all they do is just sit there and look awesome. Not fair!

 

Marissa Miller Technically Topless

Marissa Miller Technically Topless

The only way you can complain about this picture is that 1 second before and after this picture was taken you could probably see her nipple, which would have been nice.

 

Sienna Miller Gets Hosed

Sienna Miller Gets Hosed

She's totally egging Perez Hilton on with that face.

 

Cartman Reads CU Starting Lineups

Cartman Reads CU Starting Lineups

This proves once and for all that Cartman is funnier than Dennis Miller. Remember when he made Monday Night Football suck?

 

Sienna's Free Love Freeway

Sienna's Free Love Freeway

Sienna Miller is pissed about nudie pics leaking from the set of Hippie Hippie Shake. In fairness the boobs and "hippie garden" will be covered during a CGI drug trip.

 

Sienna Miller's Boobs Hate America

Sienna Miller's Boobs Hate America

Sienna Miller doesn't like America, and her itty bitty titties share those thoughts. Looking back, we couldn't find any pictures of her, in which she wasn't topless.

 

Sienna Miller Shows Some Nip

Sienna Miller Shows Some Nip

We almost didn't even recognize her! She looks cute... especially without a bra!

 

Sienna Miller Goes Topless!

Sienna Miller Goes Topless!

Sienna Miller's sugar-nubs were spotted at the beach while she kissed her boyfriend. Sexy!

 

Sienna Miller Sans Pants

Sienna Miller Sans Pants

I don't know if she's copying Madonna or just forgot her pants. Either way, I think she's crazy.