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Cat Mistake
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You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.
Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
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This bird's quite the magician.
This guy blows David Blaine away...plus, he's not all creepy.
His role models seem to be Criss Angel and Marilyn Manson.
Hilarious Magician or Retarded Magician?
We want to laugh at this guy because we think he might be retarded. Or a serial killer.
Magical Martial Arts
If you want to learn martial arts, why not learn it from a creepy kung fu master/magician!
Laser Magician
This is not a lazer light show, its witchcraft, I say! Keep your glowning coat hangers from him, before he eats your babies!
Magic Mindreader Card Trick
This magician may be a little strange, but he's excellent at reading your mind. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the card trick.