This fish also drinks Michelob and beats his wife.

Why do ugly people always have to ruin the fun?

The most intense game of Jenga ever.

This kid should be locked up and put in jail for molesting that innocent doll.

This new version of Microsoft Word will now recognize Ebonics and 50 Cent's cottage cheese mouth.

She's suddenly not the MILF we remember her as.

All those punk rock girls you see on the street won't age well, too. We'd hate to see a back tattoo on our grandma

This is why Nick Lachey kicked Jessica Simpson to the curb. It's better to cut your losses when you're ahead. Or a dick.

It's LiquidGeneration's policy to expose the stupidity of hipsters. Wait a minute. We are hipsters. Damn it!

Do you get Star Trek and Star Wars things confused? We do and we’re a bunch of nerds!

This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.

There are those who look like transvestites and those who just look trashy. Can you decide who is who?

This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.

These mothers just had their babies, so naturally, their boobs are ginormous and fantastic.

Have you ever noticed how some female bodybuilders look like men? Yeah, us too! That’s why we created this game, because these people are tricky – and ugly!

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

These girls posed for our country while others died. And we salute them.

Guess the boobs that look like they were airbrushed. We wondered why there was no acne on them.

Watch Kate Moss snort a boatload of cocaine. This is the uncensored version of the video, just the way we know you like it.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.