He reccomends a tall boy when using your driver.

It's adorable the way they make his small doggie brain struggle to acquire the food he needs to live.

There's a Ross and Rachel joke here somewhere but it's best not to think too much about John Mayer banging Jennifer Aniston.

The epitome of the American Dream in 2008.

And that's not even why John Mayer dumped it her, it gets worse apparently.

When the priest looks like he'd understand, you should probably run.

The only man that could fill John Bonham's shoes.

More exciting than a John Tesh album.

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

We're putting that one-legged freak from Dancing with The Stars, Heather Mills, in our infamous Torture Chamber! Will her plastic leg survive!?!

In theaters 2-8-08. When hundreds of videotapes showing torture, murder and dismemberment are found in an abandoned house, they reveal a serial killer's decade-long reign of terror and become the most disturbing collection of evidence homicide detectives have ever seen.

This is a new form of sexual role play, known as boy torture. It looks like a blond Xena has taken over a small village of Cambodian farmers.

This probably won't help John Madden get on a plane anytime soon.

In theaters 1-25-08. Sylvester Stallone directs the fourth film in the Rambo series. In Thailand, John Rambo assembles a group of mercenaries and leads them up the Salween River to a Burmese village where a group of Christian aid workers allegedly went missing.

In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

The disturbance this student caused at John Kerry's speech is part of why he was tasered. Calling cops "Bro" and not "Sir" had something to do with it also. They hate that.

John Madden claims he wanted to make video games more realistic. Watching this clip of Bo Jackson go crazy all over the field reminds us he took the fun out.

John Travolta is blessed by the power of Xenu. His magical thetans can transform him from "G.I Jane" to "Movie Flop" instantly.

John Mayer busts out some sweet "Chocolate Rain" lyrics to the tune of Nelly Furtado's "Say it Right"

This is one of the weirdest music videos I've ever seen. S&M face torture set to fun, adorable pop by singer Sia. Enjoy with friends!