The epitome of the American Dream in 2008.

And that's not even why John Mayer dumped it her, it gets worse apparently.

The only man that could fill John Bonham's shoes.

In theaters 7-25-08. Two spoiled guys (Ferrell and Reilly) become competitive stepbrothers after their single parents get hitched.

More exciting than a John Tesh album.

Eva Longoria and Posh have learned that athletes don't make the best lovers anymore, nerds do!

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

This probably won't help John Madden get on a plane anytime soon.

In theaters 1-25-08. Sylvester Stallone directs the fourth film in the Rambo series. In Thailand, John Rambo assembles a group of mercenaries and leads them up the Salween River to a Burmese village where a group of Christian aid workers allegedly went missing.

In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

The disturbance this student caused at John Kerry's speech is part of why he was tasered. Calling cops "Bro" and not "Sir" had something to do with it also. They hate that.

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

John Madden claims he wanted to make video games more realistic. Watching this clip of Bo Jackson go crazy all over the field reminds us he took the fun out.

John Travolta is blessed by the power of Xenu. His magical thetans can transform him from "G.I Jane" to "Movie Flop" instantly.

John Mayer busts out some sweet "Chocolate Rain" lyrics to the tune of Nelly Furtado's "Say it Right"

Stamos appeared on a British morning show, unshaven and apparently SLOSHED, but blamed it on "jet lag," which I'm guessing is the name of a delicious new vodka in England.

From BoingBoing: The City of Keizer is taking heat for installing a group of cement posts designed to protect pedestrians from cars, but which some say is a phallic symbol.

Everybody Dance Now! I'm pretty sure the entire continent of Africa is laughing at our president now.

In another installment of LG’s acclaimed Celebrity Karaoke series, John Mayer sings a little ode to Jessica Simpson’s fabulous breasts.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?