Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

Blasphemy? Maybe. But who hasn't dreamt of a gay Jesus singing Diana Ross?

Actually that's Sanjaya's sister. But she's pretty freaking hot, right?

Jesus, girl, leave SOMETHING to the imagination.

Join famous director turned archeologist James Cameron as he makes an amazing discovery in Jesus’ tomb… Jesus himself!

Carmen was feeling frisky on the Tonight Show, and methinks she freaked out Rob Schneider with her one-woman show!

Look deep into this dog's butt and see a vision of Jesus. Then puke.

Dead or Alive rocker-turned-plastic tranny freak Pete Burns is suing the plastic surgeon that destroyed his lips in an attempt to correct the over-done airbags that they'd become.

The beginning of a season of American Idol is like watching a slow-moving car wreck. There's so much damage you see coming, and yet you're too paralyzed with grotesque fascination to look away.

Dear lord! Lil' Kim's going back to her "all-natural" roots by either growing out her eyebrows, or filling them in with Crayon!

Guess what, Britney? Kevin's trying to get back together with you! "Oh NOOOOOO!!!"

Jesus is such a good sport.

I don't know why Jesus say these types of things, but it's beginning to upset the children.

Seriously, I was freaked out by Mary Poppins as a kid, but never this bad!

Jesus freakin' Cripes, woman, now even your boobs look messed up? Get it together already, Brit!!

This Puerto Rican preacher thinks he's the second coming of Jesus, and his followers are paying him for it! What a douche!

This chick cut her hair and then made fake eyelashes with it. And it looks like a scene from The Ring. I am freaking out.

She's the cuddliest girl at the freak zoo!

Nothing is hotter than watching a bunch of Islamic chicks get their freak on under their Burkas.

She's a puppet. She's a little girl. She'll freak you out if you watch this alone, in the dark, without your woobee.