Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.

Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid and Jessica Simpson are not just a bunch of sluts – they’re a bunch of sluts on popsicle sticks! In this episode, watch them as they’re about to die in an elevator!

Nick is practically suicidal over Jessica Simpson – he’s gonna slit his wrists, then write a horrible song about it. Can you save him?

Everybody’s favorite celebrity sluts are back for another round of slutiness. This time Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid and Jessica Simpson talk about the latest gossip on their cellphones!

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

Here is proof that Jessica Simpson has some of the bounciest boobs in Hollywood.

This is why Nick Lachey kicked Jessica Simpson to the curb. It's better to cut your losses when you're ahead. Or a dick.

Can you tell the difference between Jessica Alba and Abba? We can't and we have Abba posters on our wall!

If you don’t know how adorably stupid Jessica is, then you might want to check this out.

Hear Jessica talk about her infatuation with Hollywood's cheesiest hunk: James Van Der Beek