Getting BBWs from Craigslist and showing their homemade fetish movies on national television is out of control. WhatWouldOprahDo?

Eli may live to play again this week but he and Peyton both lost when this ad for the "DSRL" aired on national television.

In theaters 1-18-08. Set in a separate storyline not related to the "Trailer Park Boys" Television show, but with the same lovable characters. The boys get arrested for robbing an ATM machine and spend 18 months in jail. When the get out, they decide to pull off "The Big Dirty" which is to steal a large amount of coins because they are untraceable and quit their life of crime forever.

Never thought you'd see a 535 pound "dingleberry" on national television did you?

War times calls for national unity. The army is now recruiting butch lesbians to rebuilt war town areas of Baghdad.

In theaters 12-25-07. A drama based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas. In 1935, he inspired students to form the school's first debate team, which went on to challenge Harvard in the national championship.

This would truly be the act of a national hero. Oh, if only someone had the balls.

Ricky Martin… National Coming out day was just recently upon us… hint, hint.

Listen up sleuths, Carmen San Diego was spotted at the Lahore National Airport, you have 15 minutes to trap her by naming off African countries. Rockapella, take it away!

In theaters 2-18-08. Based on the Steven Gould novel, "Jumper" follows a young man from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities.

National Geographic's upcoming special is the most awesome news from them since we saw naked African women in their magazines back in the fourth grade.

In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

Nothing is as priceless as filming an child's impending doom. The pan over to the slide proves the cameraman is a heartless bastard.

Larry King took some time off his busy 'Where am I?" schedule to run through the park and conquer a marauding bench. You go Larry… you go.

Jimmy Kimmel sends parking lot attendant, Guillermo, to bump Matt Damon from "The Bourne Identity".

Britney crashes her Benz cause she's a total "braniac" y'all.

It’s time for another theme park’s worth of Disney boobs!

This guy learned to parallel park from Evel Knievel.

Whoose boobs takes you back to the age of the dinosaur. 1993! JURASSIC PARK STILL RULES!

Baby-daddy Larry Birkhead has a tattoo of Anna Nicole on his lower back, just in case we weren't sure which side of the trailer park he's from. (It's the trashy side.)