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Chuck McCarthy Author Image

Sports Players: Drugs Are Statistics Too

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 13 2010, 3:49 PM


Here is something from 2009 that didn't suck. Enjoy.

 

This got me to thinking about drugs, steroids, etc. The other day Mark McGwire admitted to juicing, and as this amazing animation illustrates all types of drugs have effected the game of baseball, and sports in general throughout the years.

I think that what needs to happen is that we need to stop trying to stop people from doing drugs, and just have all athletes admit what drugs they are on, have them listed like any other stats.

"Oh, I see here that the pitcher today is left handed and takes lithium and synthetic cat hormones."

How many basketball players smoke weed?

No really, how many? I thought you knew.

The point is that Doc Ellis was able to throw a No No on LSD and speed, but you give that same combination to Randy Johnson, and you might just see a little girl get her head ripped off... I'm not talking about a stray pitch either. I am talking about him walking over to the crowd and ripping a little girls head off because he thinks she is a bag of Doritos and The Big Unit loves Doritos... especially blonde Doritos.  

We should just be told what these guys are operating on, so that we can fully appreciate their performances.

Did this make any sense? I'm a little F'd up on whippets right now... Got to get ready for my big ultimate frisbee game.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

 
LG Staff Author Image

Let's Rank The Hotness of Tiger Woods' Lady Friends

By: LG Staff
December 07 2009, 1:52 PM

 

Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.

So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!

In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

 

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

 

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

 

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

 

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!

(click here to see the rest of the list)

 

Jamie Lynn Spears Is A Mom

Jamie Lynn Spears Is A Mom

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

 

Jamie Lynn's Shame Bump

Jamie Lynn's Shame Bump

Pregnancy is such an exciting time in a teenager's life, she has her whole life behind her.

 

Jamie Lynn Spears Boobs

Jamie Lynn Spears Boobs

She's a lot like her sister, she has amazing boobs at a young age and seems destined for a miserable failure of a life.

 

Jamie Lynn Spears Researches Pregnancy

Jamie Lynn Spears Researches Pregnancy

Jamie Lynn has taken it upon herself to go on the web and research what it will be like to be pregnant and have a baby. It's gross!

 

Jamie Lynn Spears Knocked Up!

Jamie Lynn Spears Knocked Up!

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

 

Kickin' It Old Skool trailer

Kickin' It Old Skool trailer

Jamie Kennedy has done it again. And this time, he's breakdancing.

 

Chad Johnson's Concussion

Chad Johnson's Concussion

Cincinnati Bengal Chad John gives a locker room interview after a game, during which he sustained a heavy blow to the head. You think he might have gotten a concussion?

 

Who Sung It 2?

Who Sung It 2?

Jazz Hands Johnson is a genius when it comes to the sing-song. Hear him sing a tune, and then guess the song!

 

Who Sung It?

Who Sung It?

Jazz Hands Johnson is a genius when it comes to the sing-song. Hear him sing a tune, and then guess the song!