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BREAKING: Swine Flu On The Verge of Destroying Hollywood!

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 10 2009, 2:03 PM

Boston.com outed all the celebrities who've had the Swine Flu, and good for them. These people need to be taken off the streets. They need to be banned from the public. I know these people are celebrities, and I know the entertainment they provide for hundreds of people across the world is important. But they need to stop...stop doing whatever they are doing. I'm talking about David Krejci and Chris Douglas-Roberts. I'm talking about that Rupert Grint. Landon Donovan, Brian Littrell, and that Melissa Rycroft, too. David Boreanaz, you're in our sights...

WAIT A MINUTE.

WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE? WHY THE HELL IS BOSTON.COM TRYING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE? EVEN RACHEL MADDOW AND DR. SANJAY GUPTA BARELY HIT MY RADAR BECAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO CNN AND MSNBC (Fox News all the way, baby!). YOU MEAN LADY GAGA IS NOT SICK!?! JON & KATE PLUS AND THEIR EIGHT LITTLE PIGGIES DON'T HAVE THE SNIFFLES YET!?! THANK YOU. THANK YOU, LORD. THANK YOU, SWEET EVERYBODY. BOSTON.COM, NEXT TIME YOU SEND AN ALERT OUT LIKE THIS MAKE SURE IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BEFORE I GO ALL CAPLOCKS ON YOUR ASS AND HURT SOMEBODY.

/KTHXBAI

P.S. I can't wait for this movie to come out...

 

(via Boston.com)

 

 
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Reason Not To Have Kids #267

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 10 2009, 9:24 AM

Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.

(via Don Chavez)

 
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Announcing The Next Michael Jackson

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 09 2009, 12:35 PM

Folks, we've been blessed with another Michael Jackson. Kinda. Here's a before and after of alledged steroid abuser/baseball player Sammy Sosa. Now we have no idea whether he bleaches his skin or has that crazy vitiglio disease, but we DO KNOW that his face looks squishy like a Madball. AMMIIRITTTTE GUYS?

 

 

Grape Lady Falls

Grape Lady Falls

Live news has brought both disturbing and hilarious images into our homes. But this may be the only time they bested Lucille Ball.

 

Photohunt 14: The Hills

Photohunt 14: The Hills

In honor of The Hills season finale, here's a special Photohunt featuring the sexy cast of your favorite show. Can you find six differences between the images? Long Live LC!

 

10 Scariest Masks

10 Scariest Masks

Are you ready to have nightmares? If that answer is yes, then this video is for you. These images will stay in your head for days to come.

 

Jessica Alba Does Calendars

Jessica Alba Does Calendars

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

 

Hancock Trailer

Hancock Trailer

In theaters 7-2-08. A hard-living superhero who has fallen out of favor with the public enters into a questionable relationship with the wife of the public relations professional who's trying to repair his image.

 

Untraceable Trailer

Untraceable Trailer

In theaters 1-25-08. FBI agent Jennifer Marsh is tasked with hunting down a serial killer who posts images of his victims on the Internet. As time runs out the cat and mouse chase becomes more personal.

 

Man's Best Friend

Man's Best Friend

There is no joke for this image, whether it's real or not, we don't know. Whatever the case, this is just plain wrong. Poor guy.

 

Anna Nicole is Covered in Vomit

Anna Nicole is Covered in Vomit

These images of Mrs. Smith where released today accompanying claims she was nearly dead, covered in her own vomit, when they were taken.

 

Reporting Live From...Oh Boobs

Reporting Live From...Oh Boobs

This reporter got distracted by the image of boobs on the green screen. This is kind of the mature way you'd expect Adam Sandler to react.

 

Britney Takes a Dump on The VMAs

Britney Takes a Dump on The VMAs

The horrendous atrocity that was the Britney Spears VMA performance can be summed up in this one image. Priceless.

 

Huge Nipples!

Huge Nipples!

The best part about this image is the fact that all you guys clicked on it, hoping to see big breasts. BUT IT’S A TRANNY, SUCKS TO BE YOU!

 

Sexiest Man Boobs In The World

Sexiest Man Boobs In The World

There is so much sex oozing from this image. Don’t stare for too long, you will be overcome by hormones.

 

Dual Images: Before and After Drinking

Dual Images: Before and After Drinking

A classic upside-down picture: old lady, or young hottie?

 
 
 

Dry-Erase Art

Dry-Erase Art

A dry erase board + lots of free time + shrooms = awesome moving images.

 

Paris Weeping Zen

Paris Weeping Zen

Stare at this image of Paris Hilton weeping in the back seat of a squad car, and feel the tranquility sweep over your body, cleansing it with its calming coolness. Om......

 

OTHER COOL STUFF