A motorcycle made of polished wood. It's pretty cool if you are into wood… and shiz.

Chest Burster baby is adorable. Who doesn't want to just wrap him around your face?

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."

"Yo April! Splinter just escaped from… screw it. Who the hell shaved me like a dumb ass turtle? … and paint? Seriously?"

In theaters 12-21-07. Based on the hit Broadway musical which tells the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett.

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"

Lean wit it, rock wit it, little baby!

The long, slender bones of grandma's rotting hands really accentuate baby Jane's soft features. Jane can only dream of having hair as nice as grandmas.

In theaters 11-2-07. Gone Baby Gone is Ben Affleck’s directorial debut and is based on the novel from the acclaimed author of “Mystic River.” It is an intense look inside an ongoing investigation about the mysterious disappearance of a little girl.

MC Hammer's career could be revitalized if he teams up with Andrew Meyer and his line of genius "Don't Tase Me Bro!"

So apparently women are into baby flesh. Dad can only get Mom's attention if he shaves his face to resemble a baby's ass.

You haven't had teriyaki until you have tried a spiced alligator tail. Delicious! Excuse us, we need to hit the reset button. (Shoves finger into throat)

What happens when a Japanese couple gives birth to a new baby? A stereotype is born.

And with the first pick in the draft, the Raiders select "Adorable". Ironically this might also improve their team as they really suck.

Pete Doherty is seen here forcing his cat to take a hit off a crack pipe. We personally hope this lands that sick little gerbil fart a few years in jail.

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

"Ma'm are you aware that your crotch is starring at me? And why do the curtains not match the carpet?"

Son where's your ice cream? "Well Louis C.K. stole it, ran away, and then...oh you'll never believe me..." I don't even believe the part about you knowing Louis C.K.

Baby Bruce Lee will kick your ass with adorable roundhouses to the face.

If you thought Kid Nation was bad, well NBC has a surprise for you. “Babies On Cinderblocks” is the latest hit to debut on Conan.