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This cat is in heaven.
As some of you may have guessed, my thoughts on Christmas are a little conflicted. It's not like I have a vendetta against it like some people think. I mean, good for them. They managed to co-opt the solstice celebration. I'm not crazy about it, but it's not like I don't put up a tree and a few wreaths.
The thing that drives me nuts is the Santa Claus thing. Namely the notion that I invented Santa Claus to take the spotlight off Jesus during his birthday. Some say his name is "Santa" because it's just "Satan" with the "N" placed in front of the "T". I feel slightly insulted by the notion that I can turn into a serpent on a whim and tempt Eve out of paradise, but that when concocting a campaign to influence every Christian child in the world for hundreds of years I would just spell my name with a few letters switched around.
April Fool's Day is amateaur hour, but that doesn't mean you should sit this one out. Everybody knows at least one sucker. Here are a few of our favorite Sabotages to help you in your April 1st pranks.
Your Friend Is A Facebook Slut
Muffins from Heaven
God hated the muffins you sent him; don’t let it happen again or he'll get your house, too.
Jessica Alba's Butt
Let's just say that if I died and they used Jessica's butt as the pillow in my coffin, I'd already be in heaven.
Are You Going to Heaven or Hell?
Are you going to heaven or hell? Well, Simon Right from the Path of the Savior Church is here to tell you!
Quiz: Heaven or Hell?
If you don’t want to know whether your going to burn in the gates of hell, you might not want to take this test.