J.K. Richpants recently announced that Dumbledore, from the popular Harry Potter books, was gay. Gays everywhere rejoiced, until they realized… being dead, Dumbledore would have no nude shower scene.

A truck overturned on a Kentucky highway carrying thousands of weiners and other packaged meats.

In Russia, they love Vodka so much, that during times of peace, all guards carry AK-47'S made of Vodka Bottles. Drink up you commie bastards!

Grace Slick has aged dramatically in the last few years. Oddly enough she looks like Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series. Liverus Spoterus!

Daniel Radcliffe's recent photoshoot as a leather daddy left Emma Watson's mouth agape! Wow, Harry Potter gets pornier day by day!

Daniel Radcliffe looks like a leather daddy fresh out of an episode of OZ. So, when is Harry Potter and The Order of the Wenis coming out?

Kanye West and P. Diddy were guests at England's "concert for Diana," where they posed with her son, Prince Harry. Kanye wore douche-bag 80s Pringles sunglasses and Diddy sported the classiest Diana t-shirt he could find in the hamper. Great job, guys.

AMPOP are from Reykjavik, Iceland and they sound more like Radiohead than they do their countrymen Sigur Ros. Big melodies, soaring vocals and some pretty cool guitar effects highlight this performance. Look for a couple more songs in the near future.

Ew, no he's not sexy. I'm shuddering as we speak.

Oh those hilarious soldiers! Catch them this Friday at the Funnybone Comedy Club in Rotterdam, NY!

When kids pretend to be people they're not, the results are always hilarious. Like when the think they have super powers.

The Suck My News Network's Philip Norris interviews that pimple-faced Brit Harry Potter.