Pictures have surfaced that reveal Dick Cheney's completed transformation from the pudgy, mean Danny DeVito penguin to the skinnier, sly Burgess Meredith penguin. Cheney had been in hot water recently amid allegations that he bribed various Nigerian officials. The Nigerian government has announced that it will drop the charges if Halliburton pays a 250 million dollar fine. Put another way, the Nigerian government will drop charges of bribery if someone pays them off. Learning that the charges were dropped is thought to be the reason that Cheney smiled for the first time in a decade. The embattled business man is best known for his tenure as vice president from 2000 to 2008, for shooting a man in the face, and for being the most evil man in the entire world.

Then:

Now:

My consultation with Genghis Khan notwithstanding, the real front lines of this war are in Australia, where Victorian Premiere Ted Ballieu has taken on the Scrooge role and told everyone in Parliament that just because they're the government, they shouldn't be drunk on the job - even during Christmas! At least the article features a picture of a really cool tray that holds 8 glasses of beer. I bet that tray was headed to someone who, like Mr. Ballieu's colleagues, understands the true meaning of Christmas: making sure you pass out face-down in a safe area.

Here's a dispatch from the Furry Movement. A portrait of a man or lady dressed as a dog...while holding their dog. What's scary about this isn't the fact that the Furry appears to be on crystal meth, what's scary is that somebody allowed this person into their studio to take this photograph. We believe in Limited Government, but when citizens are allowed to dress like freaking morons and these freaking morons are allowed to own dogs and these morons somehow find a way to use the internet and upload these photos, well, we just think there should be a special Waterboarding and Execution Division of the US Government that would punish people who do these sort of things. It's not adorable, dude.  It's just disturbing and sad and we're going to go to our room and cry now. 

You can see more of this disgustingness here.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks is probably the most important women in showbiz. Her national treasures (BOOBS, FYI) should be protected by the government forever. Also, her husband should be killed so we could marry her. It would be nice, just sayin'. Wouldn't you agree?

(via The Superficial)