In this episode, Philip Norris applauds Craigslist sex and hopes that other websites will help people get their freak on.

It almost looks like their heads are going to spin off their bodies and explode.

Star Jones almost died this week from getting a boob job. In this episode, Philip Norris ponders a world without this very fat lady who annoys the crap out of all of us.

This is a game of skill, memory and the extremely retarded dance stylings of American Idol contestant Taylor “I got the ticks” Hicks!

It’s a St. Patty’s Day tradition. You get drunk, you vomit, you crawl to your computer, and you send a friend our latest Angry Leprechaun e-card. So what are ya waiting for, ya flippin’ prostitute?

We totally get The Sopranos and Brian Boitano mixed up, like, all the time!

If The Sopranos has taught us anything, it’s that nothing is sexier than a rotund, serial killing mobster. That type of guy gets the chicks every time.

Dick Cheney, Aerosmith, Gun-Loving Freaks. You gotta love America.

Okay, we get it. You love animals, especially flying rats. Katie, you look stupid.

How ever do you develop such sexy talent?

Who knew that Jeremy Piven was such a stud?

This week Angelina Jolie is pregnant, New Jersey has a new slogan, Pam Anderson hates KFC, and David Hassellhoff is getting a divorce!

I'm sure he's just fixing a button.

David Letterman vs. Bill O'Reilly. This has got to be one of the more awkward moments in history.

We always get Porn Stars and Pop Stars mixed up. Whores are tricky like that!

Send your friends and family a New Years Eve e-card that doubles as a warning not to get drunk and knocked up in the New Year.

This week your family celebrates a holiday, Elton John gets married, New Yorkers walk to work, and the inventor of the internets starts a blog.

Okay, how did somebody get a picture of us installing our new graphics card?

Don’t know what to get everybody for Christmas? Why don’t you take a look at our crappy shopping guide?

This one time we mistook a wreath for some weed and we didn’t get high. Say no to drugs.