Just found out her (ex?) husband is gay.

I thought this was gonna be crazy offensive, but it's funny as hell.

The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Sal Alosi, Strength and Conditioning Coach, New York Jets,
Former Linebacker, Hofstra
We learned today that Alosi has been suspended indefinitely (his suspension was previously scheduled to be up at the end of this season) when the Jets "found out" that he had ordered players to form a wall along the sidelines in order to impede Dolphins special teamer Nolan Carroll if he ventured out of bounds. Alosi stuck his leg out, tripped Carroll, and is now awaiting his sportsmanship award from Jets coach Rex Ryan. The other shoe may not have dropped in this case, since the notion of a strength coach taking it upon himself to order inactive players to interfere with punt coverage in an organized manner seems a bit far-fetched. If it came from above, or even from the top, this could place the entire Jets franchise in the pantheon of sociopathletics.

Continue reading...

It turns out the Palin girls are entitled and bitchy. Willow and Bristol bravely rushed to the defense of their various television endeavors the other day and locked horns with some other Wasilla teenagers through Facebook. Willow shocked everyone when she acted like a 16-year-old daughter of a republican by tossing out some homophobic slurs. She'd better watch herself if she wanders into the gay section of Wasilla. They won't take kindly to her calling her classmate Tre "such a faggot". By the way, does any kid in Wasilla have an actual first name? Bristol, Track, Levi, Piper, Willow, Tre... Anyway, if there were any doubt that Trig is my favorite member of the Palin family, there is none now. As a bonus, here's this week's Smart News Story, about a guy who shot his T.V. over Bristol's Dancing With the Stars routine.

Legally, I don't think we're supposed to say anyone is gay...without proof. But, isn't this video proof?

This is who I guessed...

Have you ever had your happiness destroyed by a single sentance? Yes, we all have! That's why, as we watch this clip, we are filled with tears and frowns. We feel for this kid. We were this kid. We understand this kid.

Although we'd never be so gay as to sing Beyonce. I mean, WTF!?!

Finally. FIN-A-LLY. Our dream woman with the dream boobs and dream ass is single. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are over. We don't know why yet, but we can only guess it has something to do with Reggie maybe realizing he's gay, because HOW WOULD ANY STRAIGHT MAN BREAK UP WITH KIM KARDASHIAN? We don't care if her brain is filled with Cracker Jacks or her family is bats**t insane or her stepfather's face looks like a lizard (Hi, Mr. Jenner!). AHHHHHH! KIM KARDASHIAN IS SINGLE! Those words give us hope that our penis doesn't have to live a lifetime without the gentle caress of Kim's booby body.

Below are the only two photos of Kim Kardashian that really matter.

Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.

So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!

In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!

(click here to see the rest of the list)

Helllllo my friends,

Lady Gaga here and I have something extremely important to share with you today...for God and the Gays, for the misfits and the miscreants....for the future and all that we hold true in this world and I just want to thank you, my fans, for being here with me right now. I feel truly blessed and I'm so happy that I get to share with you this moment on this little speck of space on the internet so that you and I can be closer and make this whole thing, this whole shining radiance of magnificient things real and One and at peace for the world. I truly, truly believe this. Be here with me.

I am opening up my sketchbooks here for the first time because I believe we can transcend all the hate in the world just by this tiny act, regardless of whether or not God and Gays get along, or whether or not you believe I have a penis, or whether or not everything that you hold true in this world is negated by everthing that was negated by all the Powers and Purpose from the last time you listened to one of my songs. I don't want to get long winded here, but I just want you to know I hear what you're saying and that I truly believe if we just keep making music and loook towards the future...not just of a future of fashion, but a fashion of future, than everything will be alright.

So without further ado, here are some costume ideas I'm working on for my Winter concert tour...

Do you have any costume ideas you'd like to share with me? Just send them too LadyGagaIsFashionable@gmail.com and I'll post them here soon!

God, Gays, and Trannys,

Lady Gaga

Ladies and Gentleman, because we're a bit retarded and love a good throwback to the days when creating games that inflicted imaginary harm upon celebrities were not only frowned upon, BUT ALSO CELEBRATED (!), we have for you: Kill The Kardashians. For those of you who believe that this game is crass, wrong, disgusting and morally reprehensible: you are right. But you're also wrong, because we have no doubt - none in the world! - that you also believe Sponge Bob Square Pants is the reason your child is gay. Or something like that. Now to the offended, get back to work. For those of you who want to waste a little more of your company's time playing a fun game insteading of browsing Craigslist for bodies you can kidnap and keep in your closet, enjoy.

Play the game.

P.S. And yes, we still believe Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest woman in the world.