We'd rather workout and makeout with Richard Simmons.

And now for a big fat dose of ADORABLE.

It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.

What happens when you're a fat guy and you touch fruit? You almost die!

At least he didn't do the Truffle Shuffle.

Just yesterday some fat dude tried to run off with Hilary Duff as she was swimming the ocean. Luckily, he later realized she wasn't a hamburger.

It's a sad day when you're hoping the strap DOESN'T fall any further down her shoulder.

Although it's safe to say pretty much every dude with a Sports Illustrated subscription has "loved" Eva at some point.

Thought meth made you skinny and scabby, not fat and flabby, oh well, still sucks to be you.

Further proof that bullies never grow up, they just get uniforms.

At least Hilary Clinton could look at Lewinski and say she was a fat tramp.

Here it is, your moment of zen.

Fat Tranny or Britney? Either way, you lose.

American Idols should be thin and beautiful, not fat and radish haired. Boo Fantasia, boo.. And I don't mean the term of endearment.

Victoria let some of her pit boob escape it's cold and frigid prison. It looks like a sack of fat… Oh wait…

Some fat girl tried to eat JLW, while on the way to spend her $50 gift card at Torrid. Run JENNIFER!

Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!

Hershey wants to remind the young children of the world that, it's only a problem if your fat parents find out.

We can see the skinny one stealing our ipod, but unless our mp3 player is made of chocolate, we aren't afraid of the fat one.

Cyber skin removed, this is what Tom really looks like. No self respecting gay man should ever let himself get this fat. Queericide, it’s the only answer.