We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

What a comeback. Now all she needs to do is find her brain and she'll finally be complete.

He's looking as fat as former-fat-Britney everyday!

"I like to listen to Jock Jams. He's my favorite." Truer words were never spoken.

We'd rather workout and makeout with Richard Simmons.

And now for a big fat dose of ADORABLE.

Some politicians are very, very repetitive.

Democratic VP Candidate Joe Biden tells a war vet to stand up for some applause. However, the war vet's a paraplegic. Awkkkkwarrrd.

It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.

What happens when you're a fat guy and you touch fruit? You almost die!

At least he didn't do the Truffle Shuffle.

Just yesterday some fat dude tried to run off with Hilary Duff as she was swimming the ocean. Luckily, he later realized she wasn't a hamburger.

It's a sad day when you're hoping the strap DOESN'T fall any further down her shoulder.

Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has created what will be an epic "Boob-off" between Ashlee and Jessica, Master of Incest, Joe Simpson, of course will be the referee.

Although it's safe to say pretty much every dude with a Sports Illustrated subscription has "loved" Eva at some point.

Simple math, boys who played with GI Joe action figures are about 20 years older, they now enjoy boobs

Thought meth made you skinny and scabby, not fat and flabby, oh well, still sucks to be you.

Further proof that bullies never grow up, they just get uniforms.