Thank God we live in a day and age where people film everything they do.

Half of Saudi women are fat - "Nearly half of Saudi women aged between 30 and 45 years are fat and this makes them more vulnerable to heart diseases, according to a medical study published in a local newspaper on Monday." Mean.

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Lifehacker pretended to be a doctor last week and put together an article about What Alcohol Actually Does to Your Brain and Body. It's long, so grab a drink.

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Speaking of alcohol, doctors are now saying that it's okay to booze it up if you've had Heart Bypass Surgery. Though it's still hard to justify the hookers and blow.

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Men fake orgasms, too. "Several men in the study reported faking an orgasm because they had no other way to end a sexual encounter without awkwardness," says the Fox News article. Wait. FOX NEWS IS REPORTING ABOUT SOMETHING BEING FAKE. OMG, U GUYS!!!!1

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Neanderthals had a naughty sex life. This isn't a medical study per se, but it does confirm our suspicion that damn, we used to be a bunch of sluts, ya'll.

Some of these chicks were messed up in some serious stuff.

She looked fine dancing, but I don't think she saw the edge. Or maybe she just doesn't know about gravity?

That's something you just can't recover from.

Not to sound sexist, but you don't see too many women who can drift. Especially this well.

Look at what just dropped, ya'll! New Juggal-footage!

It's amazing that it's almost been a year since the last Gathering of the Juggalos. The world was a lot more innocent then. There were no oil spills, our iPhones didn't drop bars when you touched them, and we were still reeling from the 9th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos.

Here's the latest infomercial promoting the next gathering, which I'm kinda impressed by. I don't know how they managed to get Coolio, Tila Tequila, Slick Rick and Gallagher all at the same event, but they did it. Miracles, ya'll. 

Also, let's talk about Sugar Slam for a second. Her mouth is dirty, she looks a little slutty and...well, she looks a little slutty. If this caliber of women will be attending the Gathering next month - and not this thing - then you can rest assured I'll be there, painting dripping from my sweaty, ICP-admiring crack and everything. 

To help promote her blah blah blah and whatever whatever whatever Jessica Simpson wore no makeup and NO BRA on the May cover of Marie Claire, which is a magazine for boring chicks. We kind of really, really, reallly like this.

Here's Battlestar Galactica star Grace Park walking almost naked along the beach. Sure, she's pretending to surf, but really what she's doing is trying to make boners across the internet explode. It's certainly possible, and maybe it's even happened to you right now. We don't blame you. We keep our penis in an iron box to prevent it from exploding outside our pants. TMI? Yes. BUT COME ON, YOU WANTED TO KNOW, DIDN'T YOU?

She needs to lose some weight, right?

Yeah, look at her stomach. There are some definte fat rolls we see there. Someone quick, SPEED DIAL BIGGEST LOSER! Jillian Michaels needs to get here fast!

Warning! This spider will kill you if you get to close. Just look at this fat lady try and run from it; she doesn't stand a chance. The only way to kill something this big is to throw it a bone or a newspaper. We hear that works pretty well. Or just threaten to take it to the vet. Whatevs, just DON'T GET TO CLOSE.

In case you haven't already heard a million girls crying out loud "TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EXIST" then you should probably know that Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, probably cheated with on her this tattooed chick pictured below. Here name is "Michaell Bombshell" McGee (as opposed to just "Tits McGee"). This is disappointing to say the least. WE ACTUALLY LIKE SANDRA! But we're also conflicted because we REALLY LIKE TATTOOS. Maybe Sandra should have just gotten tattoos because they kinda look similar? Maybe? Not really? Ugh, we don't know we're just going to go to lunch now and get drunk with Irish people.

Here's Bombshell's Twitter.

Her website.

Become a fan of hers on Facebook!

Jesus Christ, Val Kilmer. Not only are you a huge fatass you're beginning to look like a lesbian, too. How many Pizza Huts have you eaten in the last 20 years (and we mean the Pizza Hut buildings, not slices of pizza). You should be appearing on the Celebrity Fit Camp and try your best not to hide any of the other contestants under your fat rolls so that you can win.

From the LiquidGeneration Office of Things That Are Probably Not True, we stumbled upon an observation by a member of Buzzfeed who seems to think that George Clooney is a big fat racist. Or something. Here you can see him standing in applause for Sandra Bullock at the Oscars, but he is curiously seated for Mo'Nique's speech. Hmm. Maybe he just doesn't like women with hairy legs?

This is what we're having for lunch today. How about you? How will you make yourself fat today?