Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz wears eyeliner, but since he's a boy, we call it guyliner. Apparently this was worth an entire People Magazine news piece. I'm going to go kill myself now.

A clearly wasted Lindsay Lohan was caught on tape as she exited a club this past weekend, drunkenly stumbling into her waiting ride. Thank god she's in the passenger seat this time!!

Sanjaya was sadly cut from American Idol this week. A man by the name of Popeye pays tribute to this fallen singer.

If you're going to fall off a 9-story building, at least land like you're in a cartoon.

Fergie was TOO DRUNK TO FLY the other day when she tried to board a flight to L.A. from London. They wouldn't let her on, and she was falling over. (We presume she was sober enough when she did this Maxim shoot)

Not only does she fall, but the chick going after her falls, too! Girls are hilarious!

Look how far he's fallen. Puffy and bloated is not hot.

This is another genius remix of "The Beetis"! You'll fall in love with diabetes, just like us!

The Fall Out Boy song, "Carpal Tunnel of Love," with animations by Happy Tree Friends! Whee!

What a shame. She's fallen so far.

What happens when Bigfoot is the first guy to fall asleep? Why, you put whip cream on his face, that's what!

When you crack open this piñata, little US Army men fall out! Let's inspect it for WMDs!

Even dispite her recent image makeover, Tara Reid wants us to know she's still partying 'til she falls down.

Old people are hilarious! This guy yells until his dentures fall out!

You're sexy. Check. You've got hot dancing skills. Check. You're at some sort of outdoor pole-dance competition. Check. And you just lotioned your hands up -- OH NOOOOOOO!

Her butt has my vote!

Let this be a warning: if you're going to fall asleep at the wheel, wear your safety belt!

Inexperienced grape stompers don't know the first rule: never fall off the platform.

Simplest Rule of Comedy: falling on your face is hilarious!

If he hadn’t been so fat he would have probably fallen out. What do ya say to that Morgan Spurlock?