This week a new face is added to the LG news crew. Lou Berk, our crotchety newsman, speaks with Paris Hilton live from her Five Star Jail Cell.

A local L.A. bakery is selling "Paris Visitor's Cakes" – muffins with a fake nailfile through the middle! That hot!

Bizarre L.A. TrafficWatch: No one's on the freeway – why???

Natalie Portman's sheer dress can't protect her nips from the power of the force... of flashbulbs!

Get this ultimate action figure playset, and play along with your favorite sub-plots from Spiderman 3! Now with more action-packed emotions!

Mando Diao have been a favorite here at LG for some time now. We actually had a bunch of people from the office head out to the Troubadour to see them live last month. Needless to say we were all pretty psyched when the band stopped by for a session, and they didn’t disappoint. Here’s the first of three songs they played from their new record Ode to Ochrasy.

NSFW: Judd Apatow's new movie starring George Michael from Arrested Development. I'm wetting myself with anticipation

Recently the bloated princess of pop vacationed from her busy 15-minute lip-sync concert tour and headed off to Mexico. Apparently she thought "South of the Border" meant it was okay to show off her cheesy gordita ass in a thong.

Another passionate celebrity kiss from the MTV Movie Awards '07!

Well I don’t know if you can really call this an acoustic performance, but either way it’s pretty frickin’ entertaining. The Harlem Shakes are one of those bands where the term “collective” actually applies. This was one of three songs they played for us from their debut EP titled Burning Birthdays. Look for them on tour this Summer!

Nicole is looking dangerously thin again lately, and I've heard through a celebrity "doctor" that her stomach is bloated from malnutrition! O NOOOO!

The U.S. Mint actually made REAL quarters featuring the Silver Surfer, from the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. It's amazing how sold out our country can get.

For those of you in the know, this is a rare acoustic performance from Dinosaur Jr.'s J Mascis playing the new single from the new record Beyond.

Call us cruel, but we love it when some jackass is screwing around and gets the short end of fate's stick. Especially when they're dumb white kids from the 'burbs and they're screwing around in their buddy's crappy Accord.

Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.

Lindsay frolicked in the ocean with British boyfriend Calum Best over the weekend, and her nipple tried to escape her bikini. Lucky us.

This retarded terrorist thought he could escape the police with a motorcycle, but he didn't take into account how easily they could crash him!!

Limbeck are a band from the Los Angeles area, or to be more specific Orange County. They play a brand of classic California rock the way it used to be done back in the 70s. I have had a chance to see the band live a couple of times and their new self-titled record is one of my favorites of 2007. It’s the kinda music that makes you want to have a BBQ!

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!