Britney Spears gets thrown into the good old LG torture chamber. Now you can give her a few burns and some broken bones to go along with that nasty c-section scar. Happy Birthday Britney!

Celebrities! They're just like us - stupid sometimes! Here's a recent pic of Kim. She says she fell asleep in the sun with giant glasses on. LOLs.

Kanye West, Michael Phelps, Spencer Pratt, Criss Angel and every Douchebag's favorite clothing line Ed Hardy all hang out on New Year's Eve and douche it up!

Celebrate Halloween by burning down your house.

Heidi, Spencer, & Hulk Hogan all wear Ed Hardy's pseudo-tattoo covered line of clothes, they are also giant douches. Coincidence? We think not.

You should go out and vote today, as Ed Helms and McLovin show; it’s so simple even someone from Pleasantville could figure it out.

There's a good chance Hell looks something like this. Go to church!

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

A former Walmart employee bought these Chinese-made flip flops and later got a chemical burn from the plastic strap. Now Walmart's giving her a horrible time about it! WTF!

Im in ur windoh scarin' ur childrins

O NOES! I'm a gay Mormon pot-head who practices Wicca – I am royally fu©#ed!

These pyrotechnicians are making a wall of fire because they're apparently bored and like to burn things. Sounds like my job!

Well I don’t know if you can really call this an acoustic performance, but either way it’s pretty frickin’ entertaining. The Harlem Shakes are one of those bands where the term “collective” actually applies. This was one of three songs they played for us from their debut EP titled Burning Birthdays. Look for them on tour this Summer!

There's a fire raging in Burbank at this very moment… will the Hollywood sign be safe??

Dead or Alive rocker-turned-plastic tranny freak Pete Burns is suing the plastic surgeon that destroyed his lips in an attempt to correct the over-done airbags that they'd become.

Looks like Beyonce's having some trouble with her breasts -- her left boob is basically deformed!

Here’s a collection of people who really pissed us off this year. May they burn.

Britney Spears is NOT a nice person and this video proves it. She should burn in hell, we say! Burn!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

If you don’t want to know whether your going to burn in the gates of hell, you might not want to take this test.