In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

Computer nerds around the world go from floppy (disk drive) to hard (disk drive) when they see this beauty roll down the street.

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

Jessica Simpson looks like a dumb Muppet from Fraggle Rock. All she is missing is a dunce cap and a catchy song about dyslexia.

Forget about maps and look at some boobs.

Bill Murray was arrested in Sweden this weekend for being under the influence while driving a golf cart. Oh Dr. Venkman!

The husband can be heard saying he "knew this would happen". Um, then why the hell did you let her drive? Did he know because he cut the brake line?

Their English teacher always told them "write what you know". So they grew up, formed a band in LA, and began writing songs about hilariously degrading women.

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

This week America’s sexiest swine offers up a batch of her favorite celebrity boobs.

Another amazing speed painting of Optimus Prime. Only thing missing is Michael Bay, showing up to ruin everything.

Luckily, this huge truck missed hitting any pedestrians!

Some coked-up jerk was being chased by the cops and tried to elude them by driving in loop-de-loops around this field. As you can imagine, this farmer wasn't pleased.

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

This a-hole cop accuses a drive-thru worker of ripping him off, then maces her. Turns out he was wrong, wrong, wrong!

Sean Preston Federline was driving a Cadillac during a family go-kart outing. Damn, dat boy's PIMP!

Two things learned from the video: never drive in Russia, and uh... never ride in a car in Russia. They're worse than L.A. drivers.

Old people are either really really annoying and gross, or surprisingly hilarious. Guess which one they are in this video!

As if hearing through those drive-thru intercoms isn't hard enough, this guy's rapping his order. Better to spit before than after, I say.

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??