This dog gets more action than you.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

We always new Chihuahuas were very sexual dogs.

We'd like to call this dog "stupid" but he's too adorable. Instead we'll just call him retarded.

Lassie has bigger balls than this dog.

The Westminster Dog Show is this week. And judging by this photo, it's also a time to for judges to totally abuse the crap out of cute defenseless puppies.

Why do people always insist that cats are smarter than dogs? A dog would never do this.

Watch as this bird totally threatens to cap this mofo and steal his food. Okay, maybe just steal his food.

Snoop is a dirty, dirty, dirty man.

It's like the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest but in Japan.

Eventually they moved his food off the top of the slide, but not until they were finished mocking him.

The dog quickly peed on Natalie Portman and was heard muttering "you're next Lucas".

Anything involving a Hot Dog on a Stick costume is a winner.

Since it has literally become unthinkable that people will ever feel sympathy and "Leave Britney Alone", think of the poor dog that has to live through this.

Between a Schwarzenegger soundboard prank and the "Who Let The Dogs?" scandal, is Mitt running for president in Y2K? Dude is behind the times.

The owner adds one balloon every time his dog wants to eat.

Dog the negro hunter's wife has some HUGE boobs. More like ICBMs… gross.

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

See what happens when an LG Operative sneaks on the set of the Ellen Show. Hint: he tries to kill her dog.

Terry Hatcher continues to offend Asian sensibilities after her "Philippino" comment on Desperate housewives. Here she is dressed like a geisha in a poorly stunted attempt to apologize.